Dear God …

I’ve been trying to do my best lately, but it’s hard. Life just stinks sometimes, but I try my best to keep trudging through the seemingly infinite quagmire of interpretations. I am at a stopping point. That is to say, I am having a hard time learning anything new because of my being sufficiently confused about some basic foundations of your existence. Here goes:

1. When I look around I see all kinds of persons doing all kinds of terrible things to others in your name. They all claim to know your will, espouse some special connection to you, and warn us that if we do not follow them we will die (in this life or the next). Some of these people use the same document I do in order to make their case. I just don’t get it. Most of these people are our nations major church leaders. My gut tells me not to trust these snake oil salesman, that they are deceivers. Yet, they are the major church players. If the Bible is the perfect word of God, then how can so many miss the mark? Or maybe it’s me that is wrong? I don’t get it.
2. It seems that the God of the Old Testiment and the God of the New Testiment are two different beings. One seems jealous, angry and threatening. The other seems loving, kind and benevolent. What gives? Did you change or did our understanding of you change? Either way, it seems inconsistent with the biblical idea in the that you are perfect. A perfect God would not need to change. He would know the perfect path and follow it. He wouldn’t change directions and send someone else, would he?
3. I am supposed to have faith that the Bible is the perfect word of God. Yet, I know that some of the books were written long (sometimes many years) after your death. Well I know that the mind of humans is weak at best. So how am I to trust things that were written so long after your death? It is my understanding that we do not always know exactly who wrote every book. How do we know we can trust it? For that matter, how do we know we can trust the translation into English? I’ve always heard that the translators were inspired by God, but the top church leaders always say that, even if it isn’t necessarily so. See question number one. I can’t help but wonder how I can trust the Bible to be the inerrant word of God. If it isn’t, then why do I use it as a guide as opposed to some other document that purports goodness.
4. If so many people are full of the grace of God, then why do so many Christians or Muslims have so much hate? If you are full of God, then I would not think it would be possible to hate. Yet, it is going on all the time?
5. Our currently political leaders make claims (or certainly imply) that they are blessed by you. Yet they do terrible things calling them moral and good. How the Hell does that work? Am I missing something, cause I don’t get it. These people lie, cheat, and steal and yet they have many religious followers.

That’s enough questions for now. I have others, but this is a good starting point. I just don’t understanding and it is affecting my views of my own faith. Just wondering if you had some ideas that you could throw down to me.

Your Friend,
FAT JACK