Everyone likes a good New Year's Eve party. Personally, I think mixing Christmas and New Years is a wonderful idea. This is easy to do by drinking several bottles of Evan Williams Egg Nog the last night of the year and then hurling into your date's lap. If you are really dope, then you'll French kiss her afterward. Yeah, I know a story.
Before you do, you might want to check out the 5 Drinking Myths Than Can Kill You from your friends at Cracked.com. Just in case you wondered you absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt cannot eat your underbritches in a dillweeded attempted to beat a breathalyzer.
In case that was not enough comedy to soak your socks, you might try click over to the blogger that rohrs and read his Top Ten Predictions for 2010. Want to know my personal favs? No? Well you can suck it. I'm going to list them anyway. That's how I roll.
- Jesse Jackson's love child will ghostwrite John Edwards' love child's tell-all memoir
- Sarah Palin will become the first victim of Barack Obama's first death panel
- Dick Cheney will preemptively invade a 4:30 buffet
- George W. Bush-era nostalgia will reign as folks remember the Good Times when you used to could mortgage your house to put gas in your Hummer. Now we are all just living in our cars.
Happy New Year and be sure to take a cab so you don't kill my baby. Jerk.