by JB Coffelt, Owner/Instructor
Jim Bob’s School of Welding & Taxidermy
Lampe, MO
I can’t believe that blogger, Flap-Jack, has not put out any posts on Springfield’s new pit bull dog ordinance. She’s probably too busy crying in the corner for the poor, defenseless, little kid-maiming puppies. I just don’t understand how folks can choose animals over people. It’s just a dog, for the love God almighty, it’s a dog. It doesn’t have a soul and it won’t meet its maker. It’s only here to serve man.
If a dog attacks or kills people, then shoot the piece of Hell right on the spot. When I was a kid on the farm, we had a neighbor’s dog that got the rabbies and was a foaming at the mouth. Us boys went out and shot the living piss out of him. It had to be done. He needed killin’. Besides, it gave us great shooting practice on a moving target. You can shoot all your life, but it’s damn hard to hit a moving animal.
For once, that liberal Hell-bound hole of a town that thinks it’s a city, Springfield, is finally stepping up and doing the right thing: passing a pit bull dog ordinance. But of course the Nancy-boo-hoos and Sally Soggy-Bottoms are pitching a fit, crying foul over the rights of these killer dogs. You won’t find nowhere in the Constitution about the rights of dogs, cause they ain’t got none, dumb-asses.
In reality, this ordinance doesn’t go far enough. I say yank out all their teeth. That’s right. You all can pitch a fit, what with your nasty case of vaginitis, and protest for the dogs. But I say, so long as a race, any race for the matter, is a burden to our society and is maiming and killing our children, then kill them all and let God sort them out. But I ain’t risking my own for some idealistic belief in puppy rights.
I don’t see how no dog is going to eat no babbies if he ain’t got no teeth. While you’re at it, declaw them sons-a-bitches too. The drug addicts and lazy welfare users, who are the ones drawn to them killing dogs, won’t want them no more if they ain’t got teeth or nails.
If you want a fighting animal, then get a fighting rooster. No one ever heard of a kid getting killed by a cock, now have they? Cock fights are safe and them little devils are kept in cages the rest of the time.
Problem solved.
(That reminds me, I need to write Sen. Bullfinch and see if he can help me get that stupid anti cock fighting law repealed. Seems a shame when the government takes away a man’s right to make his living and feed his family.)
Jim Bob’s School of Welding & Taxidermy
Lampe, MO
I can’t believe that blogger, Flap-Jack, has not put out any posts on Springfield’s new pit bull dog ordinance. She’s probably too busy crying in the corner for the poor, defenseless, little kid-maiming puppies. I just don’t understand how folks can choose animals over people. It’s just a dog, for the love God almighty, it’s a dog. It doesn’t have a soul and it won’t meet its maker. It’s only here to serve man.
If a dog attacks or kills people, then shoot the piece of Hell right on the spot. When I was a kid on the farm, we had a neighbor’s dog that got the rabbies and was a foaming at the mouth. Us boys went out and shot the living piss out of him. It had to be done. He needed killin’. Besides, it gave us great shooting practice on a moving target. You can shoot all your life, but it’s damn hard to hit a moving animal.
For once, that liberal Hell-bound hole of a town that thinks it’s a city, Springfield, is finally stepping up and doing the right thing: passing a pit bull dog ordinance. But of course the Nancy-boo-hoos and Sally Soggy-Bottoms are pitching a fit, crying foul over the rights of these killer dogs. You won’t find nowhere in the Constitution about the rights of dogs, cause they ain’t got none, dumb-asses.
In reality, this ordinance doesn’t go far enough. I say yank out all their teeth. That’s right. You all can pitch a fit, what with your nasty case of vaginitis, and protest for the dogs. But I say, so long as a race, any race for the matter, is a burden to our society and is maiming and killing our children, then kill them all and let God sort them out. But I ain’t risking my own for some idealistic belief in puppy rights.
I don’t see how no dog is going to eat no babbies if he ain’t got no teeth. While you’re at it, declaw them sons-a-bitches too. The drug addicts and lazy welfare users, who are the ones drawn to them killing dogs, won’t want them no more if they ain’t got teeth or nails.
If you want a fighting animal, then get a fighting rooster. No one ever heard of a kid getting killed by a cock, now have they? Cock fights are safe and them little devils are kept in cages the rest of the time.
Problem solved.
(That reminds me, I need to write Sen. Bullfinch and see if he can help me get that stupid anti cock fighting law repealed. Seems a shame when the government takes away a man’s right to make his living and feed his family.)
Posts
4 comments:
There is no telling what that Liberal Flap Jack is thinking on this.
Sometimes is the key word here! Are you saying we should kill everything living that could possibly harm a human? Are you really that heartless? There are almost 400,000 people living in Springfield Missouri, of those 20 have been "attacked" by dogs in the last year. Yes, those 20 dogs need "killin", as you so elequently put it. As for the rest of the thousands of dogs (just counting pit bulls, estimated over 4000) should they & their owners really be peanalized for what a very small percentage of this animals population could possibly do? Is this the values you teach your students? If so I sure hope my kid is never in your class in school...
First of all, you will see that this was written by JB Coffelt, owner of JB's School of Welding and Taxidermy. There is no such school. That line should tell you right away that sarcasim is on it's way.
And indeed it was. This was a fictional piece taking the issue of the dog ordinance to the idiotic extreme. Re-read the piece and then have a big hearty laugh. But beware that there are folks out there whose beliefs are not far from this. That is no laughing matter.
No, this isn't my value.
Thanks for posting.
That's the scary part...the number of people who do share this belief system... Sarcasm taken for what if is, this is a very real issue for the people it involves. It's sad how dumbshit Carlson & his strongarm tactics run Springfield. Until recently my wife & I were not registered voters. We always said "If we feel strongly enough about something to vote on we will register." This was the issue... The day I found out there was a petition to repeal the ordinance, our uneducated city council passed after the professional committee they formed recommended not to, we both went to the library & registered. I then went to Deerfield Animal hospital & picked up a copy of the petition, drove to the nearest bank, had it notarized, & started collecting signatures. I can personally attest for every signature on my copy, & I bet everyone else involved in the colection can also. I can also guarantee I will be voting Carlson OUT come election time!
Dan Wichmer, Springfield City Attorney, one of the big supporters if this crap legislation, stated several days before the signatures were in, his personal belief in how there would be too few. Dumbshit Carlson made his personal feelings on the matter painfully clear to everyone listening when he said in responce to Mary Collette's suggestion of a sunset ammendment: (I'm quoting loosly) "I won't have the group coming in behind us changing or overturning this ordinance" Ron Boyer, Springfield's assistant health director, has stated his opinion: "It's not good. It points out that many pit bull owners are not very responsible." when commenting on how few owners had registered with the deadline looming. Since when were elected officials in this country supposed act on their personal opinions? They are elected to be a voice for the people who voted for them, not their own personal agenda! I know were not in nirvana here but damit they should quit acting on personal opinion & listen to the facts!
By the way, I'm glad to hear your previous statements do not reflect your personal values. Maybe my kid could learn something from you. A gift for sarcasm... ;^)
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