MEAT HAND

The cousins are coming up for Halloween for our annual spookfest. One is a freshman in college and the other is in 8th grade. I remember when I was taking the older one to see Gwar and Rob Zombie. He wasn't even driving yet.

We are going to watch horror movies (yet to be determined, but I'm hoping to find some classics on Netflix streaming) and go to the haunted corn maze/hay ride/haunted house. I doubt I will have time to blog for a few days.

Therefore, I leave you with this disgusting looking but edible Halloween concoction. It's meatloaf with ketchup and cheese on top and onions for fingernails.

FAT JACK'S PRIVATE PROTEST

Every morning I walk into my yard with the soft glow of orange plastic softly pulsating in my yard. For months now the Springfield News-Leader has been giving me their newspaper for free every single day. I don't subscribe and have no plans to start. Most of the time, I pick it up and throw it away. There's just nothing there I'm interested in. I don't even enjoy the opinions page anymore. It's all the same:

• Everyone should submit to the power of mainstream views of Christ (and the rebuttals)
• Gays are evil and deserve no rights (and the rebuttal)
• All must claim "Merry Christmas" or face the wrath of God (and the rebuttal)
• Muslims are all evil, bloodthirsty troglodytes (and the rebuttal)

It was interesting at first, but then the same old arguments from the same old people got too mundane for me. I want more. Forget the trolls who post there.

Right now I have an entire week's worth of newspapers cluttering my yard and I have no idea why. I get my news from the Internet and TV and no longer mess with the local newspaper. Sadly, it seems disconnected from me. And I don't think the editors and publishers care one bit what I think. I'm going to put on my shoes, pick up all those papers before some criminal thinks I'm on vacation, and throw them in the trash unread.

I guess I look at it as my own personal protest against an antiquated, disconnected community newspaper that no longer meets my needs as a community member. I'll just get my news elsewhere.To be honest, it makes me sad that I feel this way.

MORE HALLOWEEN ACTIVITIES OF LATE

Over the last decade, it seems to me that Halloween has been in a sharp decline. in Springfield. We used to have several haunted houses, while only one still thankfully remains. This year haunted corn mazes, haunted hay rides and other attractions have found their way back into our community.

Oh I know, there is a whole host of prudes out there that think dressing up in a costume is somehow a secret love affair with Beelzebub. They can have their view; I have mine. For my part, I enjoy dressing up and having fun, and I see no harm in costumes or candy or people scaring me in a field of corn.

I'm glad to see the haunted popped back up. It's all good, clean fun.

MAYBE I'M A BLOGGING SNOB

Call me elitist or a purist. Label me a blogging snob if you like. I'm not crazy about all the business-related blogs on the Springfield Blogger's site. Since the group got a site and started aggregating all the local blogs, my SGFBlog RSS Feed is full of advertisements passed off as authentic blog posts.

I enjoy reading blogs of local people sharing their insights, interests and opinions (even when I disagree with them). I hate having to sift through all the muck of the business posts to get to a post by a real person. More and more it seems people-blogs are being replaced by business-blogs.

EVEN SATAN HAS TO CUT BACK DURING THIS ECONOMY

I knew it would not be long until the famous Internet comedian, Jason Rohrblogger, carved out a sharply pointed Halloween top ten list. How is Satan cutting back this Halloween? In ten ways, of course (with four alternatives just to add some spice). My favs:

• Not going down to Georgia
• Handbasket will not depart until full
• Salem witch rituals outsourced to China
• Pitchfork downgraded to salad fork

Feel free to comment about your favorites. Happy Halloween.

REPUBLICAN JUSTICE REFUSES TO MARRY INTERRACIAL COUPLES

NEW ORLEANS – Republican Justice of the Peace Keith Bardwell has for years refused to marry interracial couples. He says he's concerned for the children. I think Bill Quigley, director of the Center for Constitutional Rights and Justice had a succinct point to make about the whole affair:

"Perhaps he's worried the kids will grow up and be president."

Hatred of African Americans continues to be a disgusting little wart on the rear of the United States, as is our hatred and fear of homosexuals. We continue to have people who will participate in discrimination.

Why this was allowed to go on for years is beyond me. The fact that it did is no defacto support for the action. Fortunately, Beth Humphrey (white) and Terence McKay (black) didn't just take his racism. They fought back. First, they found another justice to marry them. Secondly, they outed Bardwell for his discriminatory actions against interracial couples.

Source: AP via Yahoo News

OCEAN ZEN NOT THE BEST CHOICE FOR SUSHI

The family and I ate at Ocean Zen tonight. We haven't eaten out in several weeks, mostly for my own health (and our pocket book). I've heard great things about the restaurant, so we thought we would give another sushi restaurant a try.

The Hawaii Five O and the Zen Dragon sushi rolls sounded unexpected and interesting. I suppose they were, but not for the right reasons. They looked nice. Everything we ordered looked fantastic, actually. And the atmosphere was tranquil and elegant. Primo.

What I found, though, was that the Ahi Tuna on the Hawaii Five O Roll was so encrusted in peppercorns that I could not taste the tuna. When I eat sushi, I expect – nay, I demand – to taste the seafood. That is part of the enjoyment for me. The same was true for the Zen Dragon Roll. The accompanying Sweet Kabayaki sauce was so indulging and overpowering that it was all I could taste, to the point of being sickening sweet (and I like my sweet things, thus the fatness).

I determined that while the atmosphere was wonderful, the food was over-prepared. I mean, Judas Priest. They offer a sushi roll covered in a butter sauce. Butter sauce!

No, I prefer my sushi to be a refined, elegant, yet not complicated or drenched in sauce or seasoning. I want to taste the intricacies of the food I am eating. When I pay $15 for one sushi roll, I expect to taste the fish.

CELLULOID WITHDRAWL

(That's celluloid not cellulose).

In other words I am missing my movie watching. The job keeps this fat guy busy, busy, busy and I just don't have the time, energy or money to go to the movies. I am lamenting the fact that I am letting all these cool movies pass me by.

What movies you ask. Let me count the frames:

1. Zombieland
2. District 9
3. 9
4. Inglorious Basterds
5. Where the Wild Things Are
6. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Thank the Lord Jesus on High that I have a subscription to Netflix, without which I would probably be a throbbing blob of miserable crybabiness. (Note: I don't think Jesus cares about the weather, if I get a parking space or not, and certainly not a piddly-fart about my Netflix subscription.)

If you have seen any of these movies and have found them worthwhile, please drop by and leave a comment harassing me about the fact that I haven't seen them. Go ahead; I don't mind.

ALL APOLOGIES

It's been a while since I posted anything funny, interesting, or frankly anything at all. But then one of my super hero friends, The Might and Sardonic Jason Rohrblogger, posted this apologetic top ten list and saved me from my blogging woes.

My favorite was number 4:

I'm sorry my actions have been perceived by others to be egregious. I'm not sorry for my actions, just the perception that they were bad.

Seems we've heard several statements like that from politicians lately. I make no apologies for harping on our politicians, celebrities, bloggers or idiotic taxpayers who spout hateful crap in the name of God.

A LOVELY LITTLE RANT ABOUT LIFE

When you love your job work doesn't feel so much like work. I'm one of the lucky ones to be in a place where I love – really love – my career. It is hard work, exhausting work, hysterical at times and often sad work, but I wouldn't trade what I do.

Today was an especially great day mostly because things went well and I felt like I accomplished a goal I had been working toward for several weeks. Tomorrow is a new day and that goal may slip through my grasp, but I am looking forward to hitting that mark again ... and again.

The wife pointed out the other day that I have had some incredible, life changing, extraordinary, positive experiences over the past 2 years. She's right and I am thankful for the growth it has given me. I don't know that I would go so far as to call it wisdom because I'm not sure I am mature enough to claim that great prize, but I am better off and exceedingly happy.

I am lucky and thankful, as plenty of people out there are not so lucky as to be so elated with their career, spouse, progeny, spirituality or life. It not a cake walk, mind you. I come home some days and nearly fall asleep while eating supper. It is hard work, but I like hard work because I find it rewarding and fulfilling (as long as it does not kill me). Honestly, I feel more healthy now than I have in years. Years. I am most happy about that.

A DYSTOPIAN FUTURE

CHILDREN OF MEN is a bleak film in which civilization has erupted into paranoia, war and infertility. The youngest human has died and the violence against the enemy (be they immigrants, the government, or the milititant uprising) has destroyed what was left of an already dystopian society.

A former activist turned government agent gets caught up in an attempt to save the only woman on the plant still physically able to bear a child. They seek out The Human Project, an underground (possibly mythical) group that helps refugees.

The reality that people currently live in such conditions is scary enough. The fact that such stories could occur to people in the US even more so. CHILDREN OF MEN is distressing in its probability, but a quality film nonetheless.

I highly recommend for those with enough of a backbone to stand a sad Orwellian-inspired film. Neither the paranoid nor militant should watch as it will only feed their neuroses.

THE NATIONAL SCENE

Plenty of people are chiming in on the Olympic committee's snub of Chicago and I have thoughts of my own. I think the snub was intentional but is more of a reaction against the United States than it is President Obama. That is to say, I think there is still a lingering anger worldwide against former President George Bush. Add to that, the fact that Obama still has not closed down Gitmo etc. and we have a world that is experiencing frustration at the US and our continued cowboy policies.

I think Obama has a lot of work to do – too much work, really – to rebuild our standing on the world stage and bring back credibility to the White House and to America. I don't know if he can do it, but I remain hopeful. I think a lot of things will have to change in order to achieve that goal. It will be interesting to see how he handles the Iran nuclear issue and Afghanistan.

It's his to do, sink or swim.

JACK & KITTY WATCH A MOVIE

Boy howdy did ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A [MOVIE]: a righteously funny, irreverent, curse-filled comedy. Kevin Smith directed another smashing good flick, which is categorized as a romantic comedy although I'm not sure ZACH AND MIRI ... qualify as a romantic comedy, at least not in the traditional sense.

This ain't the typical chick flick fare, but it is well worth the rental if you don't mind lots of curse words and a bit of nudity.

If you loved such movies as

• CLERKS
• JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK
• DOGMA
• JERSEY GIRL
• CHASING AMY or
• MALLRATS

then you will likely love ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A [MOVIE].

IT'S HALLOWEEN IN THE HOUSE OF JACK

You know us – Halloween junkies that can't get enough of the macabre. It's all fun for us, dressing up ourselves and our house. The Halloween tree went up yesterday with its metal purple witches hat with lights on top, orange and black ribbon, eyeball novelty lights, orange-purple-green LED lights, Halloween ornaments, and foam bones. It's a dadgum hoot.

That's actually late for us; we usually put up the Halloween decorations by the third week. As you can see by my movie reviews of late, we have even watched some Halloween-inspired horrors. I'm loving it.

THIS DOG AIN'T NO ROLE MODEL

We continued our movie watching over the weekend with MARLEY & ME and ROLE MODELS. The dog movie was cute and cuddly and then sorrowful. That's the story; now you know what I know. It was nice and reflected the life of this GQ couple with dog (and eventually kids). Pets do become part of our lives and this movie celebrated that to the nth. A bit too much so if you ask me, but that's a Disney tearjerk for you.

I enjoyed ROLE MODELS if not for the mentor-mentee relationship certainly for the hyper geek, fantasy role playing angle. I suppose it is "geeks unite!" film where I could understand the one poor geeky boy and his struggle to be who he is. Besides, I really dig an irreverent film.

SEE SHORT FILMS; SEND A KID TO COLLEGE

This Saturday night the Missouri State University department of Media, Journalism and Film will host a short film screening. From the 438 submissions from around the globe, only 10 were chosen.

This is a fundraiser for the department's scholarship program and all proceeds go to that fund.

Manhattan Short Film Festival
MSU Plaster Student Union
Saturday @ 7 p.m.
Students: $8
General Public: $10

More information is available at the Missouri Film Alliance website.

TIP TOE THROUGH THE HAUNTED TULIPS

I love myself a good horror/thriller/campy cult favorite/B-movie slasher flick. I think they are fun and I love being scared. The more authentic, the more realistic, the more "holy crap, that could really happen" my response, the better I feel afterward.

THE EXORCIST is the queen mother of all horror films, if you ask me (although you didn't). But there are plenty of other good ones, great ones, that are top horror must-sees.

I didn't see anything of that caliber today, but did see a horror movie. And it did make me jump a few times, but that's about it. I didn't really connect with the movie because – and I think this is at the heart of the problem with the movie – I didn't really understand what motivated the funeral home director to carve up all those folks in the first place. Why was he stealing bodies, carving some words (who knows what those words were or what purpose they served) into their bodies, and them storing them in the walls of the funeral home-turned-rental home?

In order to be really scared, the viewer must understand the religious/spiritual/voodoo/ceremony in the first place. That just didn't happen with THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT. He did crazy things to already-dead bodies and held a seance. Why, exactly, would that make all Hell tear loose?

Who knows? Who cares?

So I jumped and was mildly entertained at the macabre. I should have been given more in the vein of plot and character development. It's fine as a movie rental so long as you don't pay extra money to see movies in blu-ray.

KNOWING MORE ABOUT DEATH THAN LIFE: THE STORY OF WALT KOWALSKI

What can a priest – an over-educated, 27-year-old virgin who holds the hands of superstitious old women promising them eternity – have to tell an 80-year-old Korean War veteran about life and death?

Not much if you ask Walk Kowalski: a widower who is completely disconnected from the lives of his two sons; a man who really doesn't like anyone, regardless of race; a man who is alone and miserable and who knows plenty about death but little about life.

That is, until he finds a Hmong teen trying to boost his precious Gran Torino (which is the title of the film.) What Walt finds out, sadly, is that he has more in common with this immigrant family than he does his own boys. But he makes the best of it and finds value in life when he befriends the teen and helps his stay away from the Hmong gang trying to initiate him. The boy becomes a friend and Walt tells him so, just as he walks away from the boy forever.

Clint Eastwood can put a movie together and he is not afraid to take his time developing a character, a story, a robust narrative that the movie-goer can reflect upon and find common ground with. It was a beautiful but sad film.

My only complaint is that Eastwood, for some unknown reason, chose to sing the ending song himself. There ain't no way Walt would have ever done that and it really spoiled the ending for me.

GRAN TORINO is highly recommended. Note, that is uses all kinds of curse words and racial slurs.

CASHEW CHICKEN HITS THE BIG TIME

The New York Times has this story about Leong's famous cashew chicken which started right here – our claim to fame. I would venture to say that Mr. Yen's (owned by a Leong family friend) is the closest to Leong's famed dish as any in Springfield can get. Mr. Yen's makes the best in town, as far as I am concerned. It's all about the sauce, kids, and you don't get any more authentic than Mr. Yen's.

Blog nod to Welcome to the Middle of Everywhere for the link.

GAYS AND MUTANTS

The wife and I watched two very different movies lately, and we hope to watch more. One was a little known flick, the other a blockbuster.

BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER!
This funny little film is all about a naive all American high school cheerleader (she doesn't know she's a lesbian, but everyone else does) whose family and friends hold a gay intervention and send her off to a Christian re-straight camp.

The re-education is all about God's intended roles; boys are taught to chop wood, fix cars and play sports while girls are taught to cook, clean and mend. Those who do not comply are kicked out, left in the cold without families who often forsake them, you know, out of Christian duty, love ... but mostly embarrassment. No wonder many of today's youth view Christianity as "hypocritical, insensitive and judgmental".

This comedy had us laughing, but also brought to mind the hypocritical, insensitive, judgmental (and ridiculous) nature of these ex-gay movements. I recommend it if you don't hate homosexuals.


X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE
It was panned by critics and by comic fans and I see why. The script is loose and not at all as interesting as it could have been. The storyline is outside of continuity, which always makes comic fans crazy, as well it should.

I recommend seeing the film as a new universe, rather than comparing it to the established Wolverine mythos. In that context, the film is more enjoyable as an action film. It had nice parts. I liked little boy Wolverine, but I wanted much more deep character development (within continuity) and more believability. Can I say I want more believability in a movie about super human mutants? Sure I can.

I liked the old couple who took in Logan. I thought that scene was nice, but the whole time I was really curious about what motivated Sabertooth to go against his brother. Did he feel that abandoned by his brother? Rather than tell me that, the writers should have done what my college creative writing instructor drilled into us: Show me, don't tell me. It's a fine rental, but I'm glad I didn't spend my hard-earned money watching it in theaters.