… You Might Be a Redneck

If you fight an Independence Day fire without a shirt or shoes, you might be a redneck.

In fact you may very well find yourself in a group of drunk hillbillies who, after setting an drought-ridden field a blaze, run through the field with a hose and a garden watering can to fight a fire, never taking heed that they are nearly naked and shoeless. But for my friends, that just adds to the excitement.

Now my friends have more sense than to shoot off fireworks in the middle of an brittle, overgrown field. Well, I guess I should say that it was our party hosts family that beat us to the fireworks idea. Inevitably, us’in dunderheads probably would have done the same we’ve would have waited we had consumed plenty of alcohol. But as it was, my friends were gathered in the pool and Shelby’s family were in the backfield igniting bottle rockets and the grass.

The burn site was probably 30 feet in diameter. I was in the pool with Sophie when the buddies took off toward the smoke. I however clothed my body before heading to the scene. I was stopped by one of the ladies who handed me a garden watering can. Off I trotted, armed with a 2-gallon watering can and a camera, to fight a 30-foot diameter burn.

We burned nothing down and controlled the burn within minutes. We’ve decided that Shelby’s Aurora home is the new party palace. He has a pool, which the kids love, and he owns the movie Princess Movie Theatre in downtown Aurora. Seems whenever we go there, something eventful or embarrassing happens. Either way, it’s always a good time for us’in Rednecks.