by JB Coffelt, Owner/Instructor
Jim Bob’s School of Welding & Taxidermy
Lampe, MO
Jim Bob’s School of Welding & Taxidermy
Lampe, MO
Poor, poor Fat-N-Fluffy, he is so confused with his head so full of liberal hogwash that he can’t even post a simple blog on most of these issues. So it’s up to me, his hometown friend JB to let you what for.
From our national plagues of oil to immigration, the world is full of problems, the biggest one is this Bleeding Heart Flu, also known as Mad Liberal’s Disease. If these spongy, spineless weasels, such as good old Fat-N-Fluffy, would quit ranting about things they don’t know anything about and let those of us with common sense fix (if they do, indeed, even need fixing) then things would work out just fine. But those fancy educations have to go toward something. Unfortunately they usually go to screwing up something that is already working just fine.
If y’ins would just listen up, I have the cure for what ailes us:
Invade Mexico. Oh, I mean liberate Mexico. That makes those liberals happier when we use our fluffy politically correct words. We should liberate Mexico. There’s oil in there down South and plenty of it. Yes, we could drill in Alaska, but that only fixes one problem. Drilling in Mexico: two birds, one stone.
We take our troops, take over the Mexican government and beginning drilling for oil immediately, We use a portion of the profits to set up a new, more “democratic” government (like we really care what kind of government they have anyway). By seeing up the oil industry, it ensures there is plenty of work to be done, which creates more jobs and thus helps their economy. Let’s face it, those wet backs are used to working long hours and living in shit-stained squalor. So they still won’t have to pay them much. If there are jobs for them, they will stay in their own country.
Then we build our fences and don’t have to depend on foreign oil from those damn terrorist Muslims over there. And they all are terrorist, anyone with half a brain and one eye can see that. The liberals know that too, but they are so hell-bent on patting everyone on the back and holding their hands that they won’t use their spines to actually protect Americans. Big bunch of weak-kneed Nancy’s.
We get our oil, deport all the immigrants, and Americans get their jobs back. Best thing, is that when we pull out of Iraq (to liberate Mexico) we simply nuke the shit out of them and Iran. Problem solved. All those Muslim, towl-headed terrorists might think twice before pissing with us again, and North Korea will see us for the global power that we are and should be. We will keep them in their place.
I’m writing my Congressman right now. Sen. Leonard K. Bullfinch seems to be the only one with any amount of sense in Washington these days.
From our national plagues of oil to immigration, the world is full of problems, the biggest one is this Bleeding Heart Flu, also known as Mad Liberal’s Disease. If these spongy, spineless weasels, such as good old Fat-N-Fluffy, would quit ranting about things they don’t know anything about and let those of us with common sense fix (if they do, indeed, even need fixing) then things would work out just fine. But those fancy educations have to go toward something. Unfortunately they usually go to screwing up something that is already working just fine.
If y’ins would just listen up, I have the cure for what ailes us:
Invade Mexico. Oh, I mean liberate Mexico. That makes those liberals happier when we use our fluffy politically correct words. We should liberate Mexico. There’s oil in there down South and plenty of it. Yes, we could drill in Alaska, but that only fixes one problem. Drilling in Mexico: two birds, one stone.
We take our troops, take over the Mexican government and beginning drilling for oil immediately, We use a portion of the profits to set up a new, more “democratic” government (like we really care what kind of government they have anyway). By seeing up the oil industry, it ensures there is plenty of work to be done, which creates more jobs and thus helps their economy. Let’s face it, those wet backs are used to working long hours and living in shit-stained squalor. So they still won’t have to pay them much. If there are jobs for them, they will stay in their own country.
Then we build our fences and don’t have to depend on foreign oil from those damn terrorist Muslims over there. And they all are terrorist, anyone with half a brain and one eye can see that. The liberals know that too, but they are so hell-bent on patting everyone on the back and holding their hands that they won’t use their spines to actually protect Americans. Big bunch of weak-kneed Nancy’s.
We get our oil, deport all the immigrants, and Americans get their jobs back. Best thing, is that when we pull out of Iraq (to liberate Mexico) we simply nuke the shit out of them and Iran. Problem solved. All those Muslim, towl-headed terrorists might think twice before pissing with us again, and North Korea will see us for the global power that we are and should be. We will keep them in their place.
I’m writing my Congressman right now. Sen. Leonard K. Bullfinch seems to be the only one with any amount of sense in Washington these days.
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3 comments:
Great. I write a nice piece on my blog about not giving into the stereotypes of the extreme and over here you are playing devil's advocate with the extreme. You know some will think not only are you serious but they will want to elect you to congress with this blog entry. LOL.
If JB Coffelt gets elected to anything, then shoot me on the spot. That's the problem with sarcasm and comedy. Sometimes people don't know you are being funny.
Invade Mexico?? Shoot,we tried once and last I heard John Wayne ... er ...Davy Crockett, was still lying there with his tiny little pointed boots observing the phasesof the moon.
Santa Anna considered the Texicans to be a bunch of uncouth, neer-do-wells, who came to Texas with the long arm of the law breathing hotly down their necks ... and he was right.
At least Santa Anna introduced culture as we know it to Washington DC. He introduced the pols and peeps to chewing gum.
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