Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Oh Look, He Thinks He's People

by Dr. Patricia Baumberger-Tapp
College of Political Science
St. Agnes University

I like my men, soft in the belly and hard in the pants, with a dish rag in one hand and my curly haired child in the other. Men should be at home, raising the children and tending the home. I was educated before I had my doctorate. Men, on the other hand, are prevented from obtaining any maturity until they are at least 30-years-old and then it’s simply luck of the draw which one will have the presence of mind to submit to the smarter of sexes.


Ron Davis had it half right when he talked about men not having the right to argue for pro-life and telling us women what to do with our bodies, because men cannot bear babies. Where he failed, and where all men fail, is that he actually thought he was somehow exempt from his own advice. You see, Davis and the pitiful owner of this blog, Fat Jack, like all men, are idiots. Case in point, Davis assumes that abortion is a men versus women issue: women are pro-choice and men in power are pro-life.

Once again, an idiot man is trying to make a case and he fails. Leave it to us ladies, both pro-life and pro-choice to figure out the abortion issue on our own. We don’t need you, or Fat Jack, or Larry to help us out.

I mean really. The only reason I need you, over a store-bought dildo, is because my silicone unit doesn’t sweat on me and stink up my pillow. For some unknown reason I like that smell. It’s a women’s only flaw. And believe me you three pigs, I could bottle your stupid stink, then your kind would fade away. Men and dogs are a lot alike. I am not the first to come up with that idea.

So thanks for standing up for us, but guess what, sweetie? We women don’t need you to put the boys in their place. You are in their place. Pro-life or pro-choice you dumb-ass, hillbilly, testosterone-driven Neanderthals can just stay out of the abortion issue all together. Let us girls duke that one out. In fact, you really need to let us decide all of the issues. Face it: you are a lot happier when you only think you are the boss.

If only we could teach every man how to please himself orally; he would never leave the house again, and be too busy to bother us with his frivolous attempts at thought.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Wow. A very interesting view point. I sure hope that someday men get to evolve to the great status of women. I think I am beginning to understand what a dog feels like.

I don't even know if I am allowed to express my opinion on this since I did not ask my wife what I should think about this.

Bryan said...

Very Funny.... The problem I see with the arguement, and I've seen the "men are worthless, I could use a dildo to replace them" analogy before, is that sure, you could replace Mr. Happy with a couple of D Cells, but where's the sperm gonna come (heh) from when the Motherly instincts kick in... Oh! That's what cloning is all about!

admin said...

Yes, well Dr. Baumberger-Tapp and I do not always agree. :-)