Thursday, February 21, 2008

Finger Licking Good

Experience tells me that when someone says “it’s not about the money” you can count on the fact that it is, indeed, all about the money. Same for sex. Especially for sex. “It’s not about the sex” criticisms are all about sex – dirty, sticky, sweaty, naughty sex.

I don’t care who Bill Clinton slept with and I don’t care who John McCain may (or many not) have slept with. Who gives a piddley-damn about the sexual indiscretions of politicians? Haven’t we learned by now that there is no such thing as a Christian politicians?

Huckabee. Romney. I’m looking at you two.

Maybe Congress will feel the need to overstep their bounds and hold hearings on the subject of Sen. McCain’s sexual history. They can drag his behind in to the chambers and grill him at length about how often he pulls his pud and diddles the hottest lobbiest. He could point his finger at the camera and denounce his cigar smoking, and we could feel self-righteous in our condemnation of the old guy. The Republicans could rid themselves of The Maverick once and for all.

Judas Priest!

Unless he is nailing underage kids, or those he has direct power over, then forget about it. The puritanical religious zealots and sensationalistic media whores can salivate, shake, masturbate, then whip themselves bloody over the guilt of their own chicken choking. I’ve had enough.

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