Saturday, November 28, 2009


A friend and I went out yesterday, not to fight the shoppers, but to watch a movie: NINJA ASSASSIN. When I took him home his wife commented that we were so keyed up that we were shouting as we told her about it. Shouting. It was so loud and violent that we were shouting when we simply retold the plot.

That's becauase it was it was the most hyper-violent blood ballet to date. I'm talking copious amounts of limb lobbing, decapitations, gut slices, blood spurting, skin lacerating flick I've ever seen, and I've seen a ton of them. The music was loud (l.o.u.d) and it took my heart rate up several beats just being exposed. I don't mind admitting that I liked the feeling.

Buckets of it.

It was a symphony of violence that is worth screaming about. A veritable veg-o-matic of human flesh. Written by some dude then rewritten by J. Michael Straczynski (comic creator extraordinaire) it was a ninja movie with a decent plot – not great but decent. There are a few holes – it is a ninja movie after all – but it provides its key demographic (males ages 15-35) plenty of what it is supposed to: death. 

The character development was surprisingly good for a film of this type. We saw, in fine detail, why the ninjas in this clan kill so willingly. They were young orphans who were kidnapped, brainwashed, and trained to be heartless killers. Period. As the "father" often said, "weakness begets blood" and he used that mantra to train his boys.

NINJA ASSASSIN is a ramped up speed ball of throwing star action. The blood gushed from the get-go and didn't let up until the end.

Our discussion afterward focused on the rating. Should this movie be rated R or NC-17. Heavy P was solid in his argument that it deserved a no children should ever be allowed. We both agreed that the 8-year-old boy that was watching it with his Dad should not have been there. But could a 16-year-old see it? How about a 15 year-old? 13?

We also talked about our society's hang-up on sex while we simultaneous have no problems with extreme violence. Watch THIS MOVIE IS NOT YET RATED for more information. I really enjoyed this film because it gave me exactly what I wanted it to: ninjas who kill. What else do you expect from a ninja movie?

Oh yeah, the ninja hero doesn't get the girl in the end. We liked that.

I don't recommend this film for children, women, or those with a low tolerance of violence. Those of us who are twisted enough will enjoy it immensely. I highly recommend seeing it in the theater and with a group of your closest male friends. It's a guys-night-out kinda movie.

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