AW, MY SWEET INTERNET GRANNY LOVES ME SO KINDLY

My internet grand mere took good care of me by recommending to me some jazz songs for the classroom. Here were her suggestions if you missed them in the comments section:

• Rhode Island Is Famous For You by Blossom Dearie
• What's New At The Zoo with Mel Torme and Margaret Whiting
• Now You Has Jazz by Louis Armstrong and Bing Crosby

She also offered another suggestion – What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong – which brought me to the album, Jazz for Kids, by various artists:

• Doop-Doo-De-Doop by Blossom Dearie
• When the Red, Red Robin Comes Bob, Bobin' Along by Carmen McRae
• Mumbles by Clark Terry & Oscar Peterson Trio
• Old McDonald by Ella Fitzgerald
• The Muffin Man by Ella Fitzgerald
• Rag Mop by Lionel Hampton and His Orchestra
• Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens by Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five
• Yes, We Have No Bananas by Louis Prima
• Chicken Rhythm by Slim Gaillard
• Potato Chips by Slim Gaillard

I have them all now. Thank you very much.

(UPDATE: I just added A Love Supreme Part 1 by John Coltane thanks to the suggestion of Jon.) A sweet jazz day to you, Jon.

NEW ON THE SCHOOL iPOD

I just made some big additions to my classroom iPod. I've been wanting some jazz, but wasn't really sure what to put on there. (You bloggers were no help at all.) Fortunately, iTunes offers a series of iTunes essentials where they offer a 3-5 cd compilation set within a certain genre. I went through and hand-picked 8 jazz greats. Thank goodness they allow me to perview a song.

I know you are just dying to hear what I bought. Well, I'm going to tell you.

• Cantalope Island by Majestic King Funk
• Take Five by Dave Brubeck
• So What by Miles Davis
• Linus and Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio
• Killer Joe by Art Farmer & Benny Golson
• It Don't Mean a Thing by Duke Ellington

I also downloaded Minnie the Moocher by Cab Calloway, but after I listened to it I realized that hoochie coochie and coker were not lyrics I want in the classroom. Too bad too because it is a wicked rocking song.

If any of you dirty dogs have any suggestions, please let me know.

THE WONDERBOY JESUS

I was having a theological discussion with a close friend this evening. We got to talking about the boy Jesus. I must confess I've never given the subject much thought. I was informed that the idea that the boy Jesus having miraculous powers was considered heresy by the 5th century. If I understood the discussion correctly – and I was a bit shocked so I don't know that I did – mainline Christians, on the whole, believe that Jesus was spiritually blessed during his baptism as an adult.

I'm just not sure what to think about all of that. I must confess to you, readers, that I find that a bit discombobulating, mostly because I think I made some assumptions a long time ago. Now I have some new schema to construct.

I find this topic so interesting. What do you believe about the boy Jesus? I'm not looking for a sermon, so please don't post those. I'm looking for some discussion.

ANOTHER VEGETARIAN MEAL

I ate Mexican Villa for lunch today. Shame on me. My fat doctor would not care for that too much. This evening I had a bowl of salad and some crescent rolls (sans butter). The salad consisted of mixed greens, 2 Roma tomatoes, half a cup of cucumber, 2 tablespoons of feta cheese, cracked pepper, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing. That should do me for the evening. If I get hungry I'm planning on a popcorn snack.

Change is slow my friends.

BECAUSE OF THE SINFUL GYRATION OF THE WOMAN'S BOSOM

Those were the exact words my childhood Baptist preacher gave me when I asked why our church opposed me going to my junior high dance. The evils of dancing are pretty standard in most Baptist sects.

The Heritage Christian School in Ohio has gone so far as to forbid a 17-year-old student from participating in his girlfriends public school dance. If he goes, school officials have threatened him with suspension and exclusion from attending graduation. The religious school believes it is their right to protect students in and out of school, despite parental permission. By the way, the school also forbids rock music and holding hands.

The boy does not believe prom is wrong. No one cares what he thinks, only that he thinks what they tell him to think.

What is that sound? Oh, it's the church's beliefs being crammed down the teen's throat. It should be. Jesus The War Hammer forced others to follow him or face dire consequences. Why shouldn't other Christians do the same?

I wonder if crazy Fred Phelps, the light of Christianity, went to this same Christian school as a kid?

Did these people not see Footloose?

Citations:
Yahoo
MSNBC

UNDERPANTS ON EBAY & OTHER SOLUTIONS TO HELP DURING THE RECESSION

It was only a matter of time until media mogul J. Rohrblogger came up with a sensible list of ways to make ends meet in this poor economic climate.

The more robust of the solutions are as follows, but one would be smart to find his or her best fit by clicking here.

• Also buying used men's underwear on eBay
• Vacationing in Darfur
• Replacing fine coffee normally served with Folger's Crystals
• Limited to dipping every other chicken wing in ranch dressing
• Traded in framed Jackson Pollock for a bunch of spilled paint
  
• Selling one girl-child to the producers of "Slumdog Millionaire"

We needed that J. We needed that very much. Hmm. Can you buy used underpants in size "bigg-un" on eBay?

IT'S GOOD TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

I believe in having a sense of humor. The way we walk, the way we talk, the things we believe can all be pretty crazy at times and it does us good to have a laugh at our own expense. Our Christian beliefs are no exception.

I laughed out loud when I read Denis Meadows' letter to the editor today. Regardless of his own religious (or non religious) belief system, he points out the strangeness of the Christian theology. I don't have to change my beliefs to see his point and have a good har-har at my own expense. We could do the same with any religion, which was one point in the movie Religulous (something else I found funny.)

I suppose one might argue that we should be more reverant toward our own religion, but I don't take my religion (or myself for that matter) so seriously that I cannot see the silliness in my own beliefs.

Hey, Denis. That poke hurt but it was still funny.

MEET AND BE MERRY

The local bloggers are meeting up at Patton Alley on Tuesday, May 12 @ 7 p.m. It is a more official style meeting with a program on how to build blog traffic by Jason.

DIGITAL TV: I'M NOT A FAN

The television signal really cut out during this storm. Pixelation and frozen images were the norm at my house. I switched between KOLR 10 and KY3, and while both had signal troubles, KOLR 10 was by far the worst. I'm not sold on the digital conversion but it is done.

CHRISTIANS MORE LIKELY TO APPROVE OF TORTURE THAN UNCHURCHED

Who'd a thunk it? The Pew Research Center's Forum on Religion & Public Life found that those who attend religious services at least once per week are more likely (54%) to believe that torture can often or sometimes be justified.

Catch this: Of those who seldom or never attend church, 42% believe that torture can often or sometimes be justified.

Remember, the law of the land says that torture is illegal. How is it that unbelievers have a higher moral stance than Christians when it comes to the torture of others? How can this be? We should not let our politics get in the way of following Christ.

Romans 12:17
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody." (NIV)

1 Peter 3:9
"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." (NIV)

Mathew 3:9
"But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." (NIV)

Luke 6:27
"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." (NIV)

Jesus would be so proud of us!

The Torture Debate: A Closer Look (Pew Research Center)
The Religious Dimensions of the Torture Debate (Pew Research Center)
Ethics Daily.com
Jesus the War Hammer (Fat Jack July 2006)

(Just so you know, I totally ripped these ideas from these sources. This was not my own work.)

POOPOO ON THE SUPERMAJORITY

Would it surprise you to know that I think Obama has done a good job so far? If you read this blog often it shouldn't surprise you. You might, however, be surprised to find that I am not in favor of a filibuster proof super majority in Congress, even when it is in favor of the liberals. I do not believe having all branches of government run by one party is a good thing for the country.

With great power comes … complicated and nasty fights for exclusive rights of the reins. We've seen it with Republicans and I am assuming we will see the same with the Democratic majority. After all, there is no such thing as a Christian politician.

I WATCH AMERICAN IDOL FOR ADAM AND ALLISON

Adam let her loose tonight and Allison held up pretty well, especially in their duet. The other two boys fell pretty flat tonight. That just further proves my belief that Adam and Allison should be the top two contenders with Adam winning hands down.

The game is almost up.

WHO WOULD JESUS TORTURE?

Dang! I wish I had thought of that headline first. The always controversial Roger Ray has more to say on people's outrage, not that we as a people have tortured our enemies, but that Obama and Ray and many others have said something about it.

I think Ray is on to something when he says:

"We have taken the image of Jesus, covered it in gold and turned it into a silent idolatrous good luck charm to whom we pray when we go to war, buy a lottery ticket or take our seats to watch a ball game."

He goes on to say,

"We have created a church version of Jesus who says a pledge of allegiance to the flag of the USA, who hates taxes, blesses our businesses, tells employees to be happy to have a job whether they have health insurance or not and is going to come and take us to heaven so we don't have to worry about the environment or running out of oil."

I think many Americans have somehow melded their religion and their politics, transfering their belief system onto Jesus. Ray has a point. How have I done that? How have you? Thinking, challenging, contemplating, and even challenging our beliefs – our schema – is the best way to really figure this out. It won't work if we subscribe to the "I believe "x" so I have to believe "y" religious dogma.

Would Jesus waterboard his enemies? Would he support a government that did?

ANOTHER MEATLESS MEAL

I decided to have another meatless meal for this week. I have to comply with the fat doctor's orders, don't you know. This time I had fat free refried beans, steamed broccoli, grilled corn tortillas, 1/2 cup of guacamole, and some salsa. It was very satisfying and filling. For dessert I had two sugar free pudding cups with some Redi-whip on top.

All I need to do is add in more exercise and I will be on my way. That exercise part is hard, but as the weather gets better, it is easy to walk outside (with or without the dog).

TOP TEN SWINE FLU SYMPTONS

It didn't take Rohrblogger much time to pound out an hysterical and much-needed comedic break from the media's obsessive drive to stir the US into a fearful flu frenzy.

My personal favorites:

• Boyfriend demands you wallow
• Aching, fever, coughing, and CNN cameras in your bed

Dr. Fat's advice: wash your hands after you poop, and drink a hot, steaming cup of calm-the-Hell-down.

RUBBER REFUSES TO MEET ROAD

So many conservatives continue to maintain that waterboarding is nothing more than a fraternity prank, an athletic rite of passage, harmless hazing. Hazing is illegal in most states and has lead to several deaths over the years. (That "boys will be boys" mentality really makes me mad.)

Anyway, Sean Hannity doesn't think much of waterboarding and has even offered to undergo it. This is where it gets funny. Keith Olbermann is calling Hannity on the carpet and neither Hannity or FOX News have any comment. Olbermann is offering to donate $1,000 for every second that Hannity can withstand waterboarding. The money will go to families of US troops.

Enough said.

Thanks to our very own Supervillian for the heads up.
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GRASS CLIPPINGS

The fat doctor is pretty hip on the idea that I should have 2-3 meatless meals a week. I, on the other hand, am not so keen on the idea. I likes my flesh foods, but I am giving it a chance.

Skinny Kitty went out and picked up dinner the other night. I requested a healthy alternative and we chose Subway. She came home with a big, fat, vegetarian foot long sub. She smiled and said the doctor wanted me to eat some meatless meals. Dang. It was actually okay, but I wasn't expecting a veggie sandwich.

Today the family came into town so we went out to eat. Too much of that puts on the pounds, don't you know. We ate at J. Parrinos and I had the soup and salad. The veggie meal was my choice this time. They have an incredible Marketplace Salad there with greens, onions, artichokes, mushrooms, maters, provel cheese and a wonderful dressing.

I'm trying; I really am. This weight loss business is really hard stuff.

HANDSHAKES, OTHER TOUCH ARE OUT THE DOOR

There seem to be more germaphobes now than when I was younger, and I suspect that is leading our country down a new cultural path. With more and more pandemic scares (real or imagined, accurate or perceived) I predict that within 20 years the customary social handshake will be out. In fact, my experience leads me to believe that many people are becoming anti-touch (handshakes, shoulder taps, hugs, close encounters, etc) and that defensiveness is becoming common place and accepted.

It makes me sad because I suspect a casualty will be children. Studies have shown that children need physical touch in order to develop properly. If our society develops into a touch-defensive culture, then I think we may inadvertinently negatively affect our future generations.

The news is reporting that many graduations are foregoing the customary handshake with the principal/dean/president. We have the swine flu to thank for that.

A WORD ABOUT SPRINGFIELD AREA FOOD

A post for the Foodie

If you cannot tell from my name, I digs the food stuff. Our new blogging buddy over at The Springfield Foodie is calling upon all area bloggers to post about food. As they say in Texas Hold 'em, I am all in! Big Fat Jack surprise there, eh?

In my opinion ...

The Best Wings in Town
Coyote's Adobe Cafe has the rockingist, rollingist, kickingist wings in town. I've been all over this burg of springs and have found nothing that compares. They have 16 different sauces. Original Buffalo, Spicy Garlic, Twice Fried, Whiskey and Carribbean Jerk are among my top favorites. They also have many non hot varieties including: Rooster, Teriyaki, Garlic Parmesian, Plain, Cashew (of course) and Dixie,to name a few. Locally owned and operated, these folks are great. The queso and salas is good, too.

Raspberry Butter Cake
This stuff from J. Parrino's Italian Cafe is baked heroine; I kid you not. It is rich and satisfying, not to mention fattening as all get out. Just so you know, I think their steak meals are really incredible. You wouldn't think steak from an Italian restaurant, but the nightly filet entrees are butter-cutting tender. Served with a side of pasta or asparagas (my choice) and a soup or salad and you are in heaven.

Chili Rellenos
I've had several dishes at Cierlito Lindo that were merely "meh", (and I almost quit going because of it) but the chili rellenos are absolutely to die for. They are not breaded like other varieties, but the flavor of the poblano pepper really shines through. Simple but delicious.

Cashew Chicken
I know that Mr. Yen's is a bit expensive, especially when you consider all the cheap hog troughs in the area. If you want the most authentic and flavorful cashew chicken in town, the only place to go is Mr. Yen's.

Healthy Pizza
Combine Imo's cracker-think crust with McSalty's wheat crust, and you have Wanna Get A Pizza. It is so thin that it is less filling, so be ready. Good flavor and less calories, it is a healthy (and very tasty) alternative. If you have fatty syndrome, such as myself, this is a great place to fulfill your pizza tooth and not feel guilty.

LIFE IN HIGH DEF

The third grader can't read the digital clock on the oven from 10 feet away. Oh dear, we think she caught the myopia from her pop. The wife got right on it and scheduled her for an eye appointment. Not that we needed to know whether or not she needed glasses. We knew she did. We just needed a Rx. The eye socket doc told us what we knew and she picked out the cutest rectangular plastic glasses. She looks adorable.

AT one time in our history needing braces or glasses was a near death sentence to youngsters, but that's not the case anymore. Both are stylish and accepted. She is not phased at all and I am glad. In fact, she looked forward to them.

I remember the first time I put on my eye glasses. I looked out the window and was stunned at the world I had missed. I could see ... leaves. I never knew I couldn't see them before. For the first time I saw the color distinction between the top and bottom of the leaves. Wow. I was with the daughter when we picked up her spectacles tonight. She had the same reaction, commenting that she could see the rivets in the FedEx van sitting out front.