Raiders of the Lost Arc Complete

My wife tells me that I need to do a podcast of Sophie and I playing Lego Indiana Jones for the wii. She insists it is hysterical. Apparently (and I don’t buy any of it), we bicker back-and-forth and cheer each other on like an old, married couple.

We were playing Lego Star Wars. A good game, to be sure, but we only rented it and we kept it a week past the due date. Damn that Blockbuster and its late fees. The wife and daughter got this old man Lego Indiana Jones for Father’s Day this year. Tonight, Sophie and I finally finished the first installment, Raiders of the Lost Arc. Dadgum brilliant.

Gamers say this is the best Lego game yet and I tend to agree. It is a lot of fun. I really enjoy the collaborative nature of the game and the problem solving that occurs. In all her wisdom, Skinny Kitty had sense enough to buy the strategy guide at the same time, and God bless her for that. There is nothing more frustrating that to get to a level and not know what to do, even after frequent attempts to smash, click, jump, or dig your way through. Sometimes, you just need a hint.

Maybe we will have it beat by Christmas and then we can get the upcoming Lego Batman, which coincides with the new flick coming this summer. I tell you what. I have never been a gamer, but I love my wii and I love playing it with my daughter.

By the way, Willie whines way too much, just like in the movies. But Marion, oh man she kicks butt.

The Nightly Read-Aloud Continues with ‘Poop’ in the First Chapter

My daughter and I finished our first read-aloud of the summer, The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. It was simply fantastic – a beautiful piece of children’s literature. No wonder it won a Newberry Medal.

Despereaux was my pick. This next one is hers. Research tells us that a child’s ability to choose his or her own reading is vital to reading motivation (Cavazos-Kottke, 2005; Edmunds & Bauserman, 2006; Guthrie, Hoa, Wigfield, Tonks & Perencevich, 2006; McPherson 2007; Pachtman & Wilson, 2006; Veto, 2006). It’s hard for adults to let go and allow children to make their own choices. We want so much to control their little minds and decisions. But I want my daughter to read because she loves reading and not because her father or teacher assigns it. As Drego Little said it best: “Nothing is more damaging to the love of reading than the belief that it is something you do for someone else” (Little, 2005, p.3).

This go around she chose the Judy Blume book, Double Fudge. Never read it myself, but I’ve heard good things. I know that kids love Judy Blume, and a love for reading is of utmost importance. So Double Fudge it is. We read the first chapter and already we’ve read the word “poop”. No wonder kids like it. This is going to be fun.


References
Cavazos-Kattke, S. (2005). Tuned out but turned on: Boys' (dis)engaged reading in and out of school [Electronic version]. Journal of Adolescent & Adult Literacy, 49(3), 180-184.

Edmunds, K. M., & Bauserman, K. L. (2006). What teachers can learn about reading motivation through conversations with children [Electronic version]. The Reading Teacher, 59(5), 414-424.

Guthrie, J. T., Hoa, L. W., Wigfield, A., & Tonks, S. M.. Perencevich, K. (2006). From spark to fire: Can situational reading interest lead to long-term reading motivation? [Electronic version] Reading Research and Instruction, 45(2), 91-117.

Little, D. (2005). In a single bound: A short primer on comics for educators. Retrieved January 19, 2008, from http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/literacy/little.htm

Pachtman, A. B., & Wilson, K. A. (2006). What do the kids think? [Electronic version] The Reading Teacher, 59(7), 680-684.

McPherson, K. (2007, April). Harry Potter and the goblet of motivation. Teacher Librarian, 4, 71-73. Retrieved June 17, 2008, from WilsonWeb.

Veto, D. (2006, April). Motivating reluctant adolescent readers. School Administrator, 4. Retrieved June 17, 2008, from WilsonWeb.

More Racism from a Republican

Obama and Hillary are on the tube right now, campaigning together (Friday, June 27, 12:31 pm). A former co-worker of mine sent me this jpg of what appears to be them at this very campaign stop. He wasted no time in getting this photo out.

He ain't from Texas and he ain't from Kentucky, but he is a dyed-in-the-wool Republican – a conservatives-do-no-wrong Republican. He's a Missouri boy and one who is always touting the Christian faith in his politics. He's always sending out crap (much of which is proven untrue thanks to snopes.com) about race and religion and how evil and anti-Christian all Democrats are.

This pic from him comes right on the heels of my last post on politics and racism and religion. Pertinent. You bet. Thanks to this former co-worker, my point about politics and Christianity was proven. And yes, dear friends, it is with much regret and chagrin that so many of my fellow Christians swim in the pool of racism and discrimination. I don't smile and take joy in the fact that it is true. It makes my blood boil that ignorance, racism, discrimination and hatred run rampant in my religion.

Thus my comment about Christianity when discussing politics and race.

Comics, Not Candy, for Halloween

Bone

Archie

Cowa!

Donald Duck

Peanuts

I know. It’s only June, but the trick-or-treat season is coming and you want to be prepared. Rather than rotting kids’ teeth and adding to the obesity epidemic, you can choose to stop the madness and increase literacy all at the same time.

You can buy 25 mini comics in a bundle for the low-low price of $3. This year they offer five titles:

• Bone
• Cowa!
• Archie: The Mystery of the Museum Sleep-In
• A Peanuts Halloween
• Donald Duck: Halloween Hucksters

You can purchase these by going to your local comic book store and placing an order, citing the Previews Issue: June 2008, page 21. Easy as pie.

Our family did this last year and it was a hit. The kids were very excited about them and so were the parents. These are kid friendly titles.

These make great gifts for the kids in your elementary classroom, too.

Alive and Well in the Good Old US of A

This tidbit of racism being alive and well comes from Trail Blazer’s Blog, of the Dallas Morning News, where a vender at the Republican state convention in Texas was selling this dandy of a pin.

You might think that racism is relegated to the quiet jokes when the coloreds and the commie liberals aren’t around. Then you’ve never been to a motorcycle rally in Kentucky. They had entire vendors dedicated to racism, nazi, KKK, and other white supremacy rallygoers. I should have taken pictures. I was stunned at the outright hatred, and I do mean hatred.

“The only good nigger is a dead nigger” slogans on shirts. Swastikas, KKK, it was all there. I kid you not.

These vendors did not make up the bulk of the salespersons. Oh no, there were just two of many, but they were there and selling crap like hotcakes. It should be noted that not all bikers, not all the people who attend this biker rally, not all Kentuckians, feel this way. But enough do to make the trip worthwhile for these racist venders. I did find an inordinate number of rebel flags being flown in Kentucky.

And so it is no surprise to this blogger to see this pin at a Republican rally in Texas or any other southern state for that matter. The sentiment is rich and deep-rooted in cultures. We’ve seen it first hand. I do think that we who find such sentiments disgusting should be reminded that not all of the convention attendees would agree with such sentiment. Certainly, not all Republicans (Texans, southerners, or otherwise) would agree. But it is fair to say that there is a strong racist thread running through the Republican party, especially in the South. Could be that the thread is prevalent in both parties in the South.

It says a lot about how deep, how rich, how prevalent that sentiment is when a political party allows such pins to be sold at their state convention. That is unsettling.

CNN and the AP reported the Texas GOP banned the vendor after the event (and presumably once the story hit the news) and donated his $1,500 vendor fee to Midwest flood victims. Good for them, but I suspect it is more spin than anything. I wonder how many buttons he sold? Seems a reported might have thought to ask that question.

I wonder how many of those who bought the pin are also part of the "America is a Christian nation" members? I digress.

Innocent Symbols of Death and Contempt

No doubt you've heard that what we Americans consider symbols of okee dokeeism are not necessarily universally dandy to the rest of the world. Cracked puts it on the table with this article "7 innocent gestures that can get you killed overseas."

I like this guy. He's one funny S.O.B.

What Would George Carlin Say?

The daughter came home from camp today and sang us a couple little ditties while Skinny Kitty and I were washing up the dishes.

There once was a genie
with a 10-foot weenie,
He thought it was a snake
so he hit it with a rake,
and now it's 5-foot-4.


Yankee Doodle went to town
riding on a heater.
He cranked it up to 99
and burnt his little weiner.

Obviously, these came from those dirty little boys at her summer day camp, right? Oh no, dear reader. These came from the cousins, a girl and a boy, who are a tad older. To laugh or to cry? What is a parent to do? I could frown and punish and make a big deal out of it. Instead, I drug her into the office so she could recite them as I blogged.

Good Old Betty Sure Can Make a Meatloaf

The 8-year-old daughter got a kids cookbook for her birthday and we just got around to making her first recipe with it: meatloaf.

I love the meatloaf, so long as it is:

1. Firm
2. Covered in sweet, saucy goodness
3. Absent of that bastard of a herb, sage

Now the wife is not a cook (self-described), but she prides herself on her meatloaf and I have enjoyed her concoction for many years. Served with biscuits and brown gravy is the best way, but she cares for my heart and health too much to give me gravy.



The truth is brutal, but must be told. My wife’s loaf was beat fair and square by the daughter’s simple recipe. Fantastic was her special meat pie, with it’s special ingredient. Sophie's meal was goodness all the way around.



My little maid can make me meatloaf anytime. I look forward to the cold meatloaf sandwiches. Watching her in the kitchen was a delight. Not because of any misogynistic need to have a lady fulfill some antiquated ideology about female “duties”, but because she enjoyed making her Daddy something all her own. She made it too. She cracked the egg, mixed the ingredients with her bare hands (as any good meatloaf is made) and put it in the oven. All by her little lonesome. Mom was there, of course, to facilitate, but not to do. Hands-off was the mother.

The Not-So-Incredible Hulk

The Hulk, I have decided, is not a terribly interesting character. I made this statement to my comic book guy to which he replied that The Hulk does not translate well into other mediums. Philosophically speaking, I can relate to the inner beast that cannot, at times, be controlled. Despite our higher thinking and evolution, we are still beasts, animals with deep-seeded instincts. The Hulk’s nature speaks volumes about human nature and our greater society. To that extent, I find him intriguing. I guess I like the idea of the Hulk but I am not so impressed with the end product.

I have some copies of Marvel Adventures Hulk. Marvel Adventures being the more kid-friendly version of the comics. MA titles come in many forms: Spider-Man, Iron-Man, Fantastic Four, and The Avengers, along with some other double-flips and whatnot. Some of the MA books are better than others. Marvel Adventures Iron Man was pretty good, for instance. The MA titles tend to stip a character down to nuts and bolts for the kids. The language and violence is dialed down and the story lines are told within one comic (usually 32 pages).

That means the focus is more on action than character. This is overly true with Marvel Adventures Hulk. The complexity of the character, the drama and tension, are edited out, leaving us with nothing more than a green guy who smashes stuff to bits. They make use of the many manifestations of The Hulk, ranging from the childlike “Hulk Smash” id, to a brainiac scientist in green skin. I hate that. My comic book guy assures me that Hulk has gone through many changes through the year. Fine, but that does not mean I have to like him as an intelligent being. It destroys the tension of the story.

The post-Ang Lee movie version was fine. Not great, but fine. I liked it. Had a good time. It didn’t suck and was better than the previous green man flick. Not as good as Iron Man by any means. It had to be made, I suppose, so they could go ahead with the Avengers franchise. Avengers, you see, is on its way, if the hints and suggestions in the Iron Man and Hulk movies are to be believed. If you don’t already know, be sure to brush up on your Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D., and Nick Fury history. Think there will be any social commentary with S.H.I.E.L.D. (Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division)?

Judge Says Faux News ‘Gullible’ and ‘Unprofessional’

So much for “fair and balanced”.

Apparently, Faux News ran straight with an article that happened to be a spoof. They quoted the obviously ridiculous quotes as the real deal, coming dangerously close to libel. The judged ruled in their favor, but had some harsh things to say. I’ll let you read up on it yourself.

Click here. All the links you need are in the article.

'Ugly' is Still Illegal for Some

The things our society does to preserve “decency” and “morality” are unbelievable, many times bordering on horrible and many times unethical. They certainly are not always Christian or moral. That’s still true today.

Chicago used to have an “Ugly Law”, as did Columbus, Ohio and Omaha, Nebraska. Chicago’s law was as follows:

“No person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated or in any way deformed so as to be an unsightly or disgusting object or improper person to be allowed in or on the public ways or other public places in this city, or shall therein or thereon expose himself to public view, under a penalty of not less than one dollar nor more than fifty dollars for each offense.”

Thanks to a Jack operative, who happens to be an award-winning advocate for persons with disabilities, we were pointed to this blog. I just had to blog about it. Our history is ugly indeed, but not because of diversity, despite the calls to homogeneity of some arch conservatives.

Those “different” people, who God created, walk among us but are rarely treated with kindness, love, forgiveness or tenderness. Typically they are met with contempt and disgust. I can’t tell you how many mothers I talked to back in my disability-advocacy days who were kicked out of their family churches because their child had Autism or some other disability and the child moved around or made noises. These ladies would sit in my office and cry because they were unable to access God because the church refused to accept or understand their child. “If those mothers would just discipline those Autistic children” – a common mantra by the willfully ignorant.

Oh the ugliness continues today with people who have disabilities, disfigurements and the homosexuals. Even some compassionate folks can be kind to the poor disabled and still have open contempt for those who love the same sex.

I don’t feel sorry for society’s “ugly ducklings”. I just feel angry that my fellow Christians, as we make up the majority of the US, find such practices acceptable and Godly. Most of my agnostic and atheist friends do not. I don’t know if that is true for the general non-God population. Just an observation.

Fundamentalist Librarian Freaks Over Harry Potter Party, Sues Poplar Bluff Public Library

From: KFVS 12 News > The New Yorker > Library Journal > Gregory Holman’s blog


Librarian Deborah Smith, from Poplar Bluff, had religious concerns over working a library-sponsored Harry Potter party. According to the KFVS 12 News report, she allegedly refused to work the party and was suspended for 10 days.

She doesn’t work there now and with the help of the ACLU, has sued the library. According to the religious wrong, the ACLU is an anti-Christian, communist organization, hell bent on destroying all things Jesus. That’s their story anyway. No mention of the ACLU standing up for Christians on the local fundamentalist blogs thus far. Be that as it may …

Poplar Bluff is not known, to my knowledge, as a liberal hideout of pinko commies and hippie dope smokers. The bootheel is pretty conservative.

I want to know if this library staffer checks out Harry Potter books to patrons or stocks the HP books on the shelves? Are they so evil that the bound copies cannot be touched? Or does God simply draw the line elsewhere, forbidding her to be staff at a work-related party where people might read and enjoy the evil witchery? I don’t really understand the whole hate-Harry movement, as The Wizard of Oz, Narnia, and Lord of the Rings have all kinds of magic and whatnot. Why is it okay to work in a library that houses “witchcraft” and yet it is not okay to work a book-specific party? It doesn’t seem consistent.

Me thinks there is much more than meets the eye. I disagree with her choice, but is it so difficult to find another staffer? Can’t a good manager just respect her irrational belief and just find someone else? And a 10-day suspension? That seems harsh. I just get the feeling that there is a history here, perhaps a long history of insubordination? No surprise that the library is all hush-hush over the ordeal.

The 13th Wedding Anniversary

Today is our thirteenth wedding anniversary. Skinny Kitty got me a pair of Batman cufflinks to mark the occasion. How cool is she? She is so supportive of my geekness, even attending a comic book convention in Chicago with me. Most of my dress shirts are French cuffs. I love them. There is something classy and distinctive about French cuffs. This anniversary was supposed to be one of those “we are not going to buy each other anything” as the graduate school thing is wreaking havoc on our finances. The price of food and fuel is not helping. The retort, of course, was that she bought these back in March before we made the rule. Convenient isn’t it. I don’t think that far ahead, most of the time.

You know what that means, don’t you? A trip to the store to pick out the purtiest little thing I can find on a shoestring budget. She deserves more, of course. She should get diamonds or pearls or some such glittery goodness. I keep telling her that after I get that high paying teaching job things will be different. Good old gal, that Skinny Kitty, she always laughs at that joke.

She mentioned this morning that she can’t remember living without me. Although I’m sure she’s tried to block it out on more than one occasion. I can’t hardly remember my life before her either. I’m not sure I want to. I’ve fallen into the honey pot, and that’s just fine with me.

Living Day-to-Day

Politics, religion, local government goings-on – it’s all of little interest to me this day/week/month. Summer school is all about graduate work, 600-level classes that meet for 8 or even 5 weeks as opposed to the typical 16-week regiment. I’m busting my hump trying to keep up with it all. Research, reading, tests – it’s all a bit much. Couple that with the recent and painful death of my loveable grandmother, and the world just seems too cruel.

Boy, that was a bummer of a paragraph, wasn’t it?

When I reflect, however, I find that I am enjoying the experience – parts of the school work, I mean. I find that I enjoy reading and thinking about educational philosophy. Why we do what we do, teach the way we teach, how we approach children and engage them in the process of learning is fascinating to me. Is that weird? I think that it is. I’ve lived all of my life on this side of the weirdo spectrum to some degree, so I’m pretty comfortable with that. I don’t go all goo-goo-eyed over the Mayor of Weirdtown like some geeky blogboys (with whom I am friends), but I am firmly on the side of unconformity. At least I am not one of those crazy … Libertarians [shudder].

Today I am on EbscoHost and WilsonWeb, searching professional journals and dissertations for a literature review which will eventually lead to a research study and thesis. The dog is curled up comfortably on a pillow, which is lying on the futon next to my workstation. Those big old ears of his sticking straight up, and his eyes slammed shut.

Later this afternoon I will sit and read through the nearly 30-plus pieces of literature I have printed here at home. That is fun in short bursts, but becomes tedious over the course of an entire day. Thank goodness I enjoy the subject. Such is the life of the poor graduate student. I quit searching about 30 minutes ago and the printer is still printing. Not a slow printer, but a huge queue. Crazy days.

Desperate to Read

Tonight is the last night of our vacation. Tomorrow I start back to college, the wife to work, and the daughter to summer camp. So begins our summer reading extravaganza. My Grandma Pearl, a teacher for over 30 years, always says that a person can do anything if they can read. She’s right on that one. Reading is the lynchpin, the foundation, to success in life.

I went through our library and pulled out a basket full of books both above and below her reading level. I happen to know her reading level as it was sent home in a packet of information on the last day of school, although I don’t put too much emphasis into lexile ratings. I am more concerned with reading as a big picture first; kids should enjoy reading and should find books that interest them and energize them. They should not be concerned with the level of their book. Reading is something we do for ourselves, not something we do for others. I’m rambling – giving you too much of my personal educational philosophy.

The summer reading library.

I piled a bunch of books (picture books, novels, novellas, comics and graphic novels) into two boxes and put them in the living room. Clutter be damned; this is reading! We have carved out times everyday for reading and writing, something that we are all supposed to be doing.

Tonight, I pulled one of the books from the summer reading library for me to read to her. Reading on their own is important, my friends, but children (even fifth and sixth graders) need to be read to. We chose The Tale of Despereaux. An excellent piece of children’s literature and one that I think she will enjoy. Despereaux is “the story of a mouse, a princess, some soup, and a spool of thread.” It has castles and dungeons and death and all kinds of marvelous things.

I read the first three chapters to her tonight and we have learned much about Despereaux the mouse and about life. From chapter three comes this prophetic little tidbit:

“Reader, you must know that an interesting fate (sometimes involving rats, sometimes not) awaits almost everyone, mouse or man, who does not conform” (DiCamillo, p. 25).

How can you not be hooked by that sentence?

The Tale of Despereaux
By Kate DiCamillo
2004 Newbery Medal Winner
Ages 7-12
Candlewick Press

My Granny Jewel

Granny Jewel holding my daughter, Sophie, on Granny's front porch.

My grandmother Jewel (Granny or Juju) has nearly come to the end of her life’s journey, and I am fearful that this is her last week. I do not care to remember her as she is now – sick and in bed, working to breathe – so before the end of her days, I am posting pictures of the beautiful woman I call “granny” here and on my personal site. You are welcome to click here and see more. These are a few of my favorites.

Granny and I pretend-smoking those candy cigarettes at Christmas.

Granny has a great sense of humor, a bit of an irreverent one, which is what makes her cool. She loves nothing more than sitting in public and pretending to smoke. She puffs away at her invisible fags, drawing deep and blowing smoke rings and whatnot. We were riding in the van once on our way to Oklahoma to see my sister and her family. Juju lights a nonexistent cig and smokes it, waving at the passers-by. No reason, just to pass the time. I’m sure the people in the other vehicles thought she was some crazy old coot.

One of her favorite pastimes is to sit on the porch and people-watch. She is a crack up to sit with because she will flat make fun of folks, making up stories and things about them. If she knows the dirt, why you bet she will tell you all about them and who they are sleeping with and what they are doing wrong. Oh, she’s a hoot. She’s a lot of fun to hang with.

She has the funniest sayings that she pulls out of nowhere: diabetes of the blow-hole, and hobble-gobbles and disconnected piece of sewer pipe. So funny and so unexpected, her timing is impeccable.

As a kid, one of the things I loved most about granny was her food. Juju can cook up a storm and try as they might, other people just cannot cook it the same. I don’t know what she did, but Granny makes the best oatties in the world. For the uninitiated, oatties is oatmeal with butter and sugar. She made it for me a lot as a kid and I loved it. I begged for Mom to make it the same way at home, and as good a cook as my Mom it wasn’t the same. Granny also cooks an old southern dish for me every Christmas: fresh side pork. It’s bacon that is not cured. She slices it thick, rolls it in spiced flour and fries it. You just cannot imagine how good it is. Oh, it’s heart block for sure, but tasty all the way.

Granny could sing. Well, I should say she would sing. Once in a while, as kids, we could get her to sing this old song and we would just howl. We got it on video once, with her playing her rolling pin as a guitar.

Don’t Momma and I’ll Be Good

My playmates they don’t like me
Cause I’m not kind and sweet
I make ugly faces
At the boys across the street
My Momma says that naughty
And I don’t know why she should
She makes me go to bed so I’ll be good.

Don’t momma and I’ll be good
Don’t momma and I’ll be good
I won’t tease the puppy
And I’ll not wool the cat
Don’t make me go to bed
And I’ll be good.

There’s more to the song, but that’s what we have documented. There’s also a line “I’ll not pull grandma’s whiskers or rub mustard in his hair. Don’t make me go to bed and I’ll be good”. The first time I heard it I was a wee pup and she was sitting in the chair on the farm knitting or crocheting or something and she just sang it to me. I loved it. I was amazed to me that an old grandma could be so funny. She also sang some song about two old ladies laying in the sand, each one a wishin’ that the other was a man. That’s a real song; I’ve heard it before. I don’t know about the other one.

Granny Jewel with husband, Lee Sanders

Granny is a pretty funny lady, a far cry from the person in the bed right now. She is known to make faces, wiggle her tail or flash a tea towel your way if you give her any sass. And she doesn’t take any sass, I tell you what. I love that about her.

(UPDATE: Grandma Jewel passed away peacefully in her sleep on Monday morning, June 9.)

Another Steven King Novel Goes Comic

Example of some art of Randall Flagg

According to Scoop, Steven King's novel, THE STAND, is getting comic treatment from Marvel.

"The Stand takes place in a post-apocalyptic world following an unlikely group of heroes after a super-flu has killed 99% of the people. The remainders begin rebuilding and adjusting to their new lives in The Free Zone when another threat presents itself. Led by the vicious and charismatic Randall Flagg, a second group of survivors threatens to fill the new Earth with evil instead of hope."

Marvel has adapted another King work, a series, recently. THE DARK TOWER is an exceptional comic adaptation of the work, focusing on the events of Roland's entrance into manhood as a gunslinger, earlier than anticipated. I've blogged on THE DARK TOWER here and here.

Much to the chagrin of the wife, this will likely be an addition to my collection. Might also make a good Christmas gift for that special geeky someone. If you wait, they will collect this in both softcover and hardcover editions.

Love Splash

The Cuz and crew made a film short for SOTA 48, a 48-hour film competition. They camped out at the House of Jack for two days, staying in a van parked on the street. Sleeping inside is no fun for a group of teens, now is it?

Most of the cast and crew are 17ish, but I think the lead actor was a bit older. Early 20's maybe? I don't remember. Big fans of Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, and the Evil Dead flicks. You can see the Rodriguez/Tarantino influence in the film. I know the boys so I was waiting for the movie to take a crazy turn. "From Dusk till Dawn" comes to mind.

They weren't able to finish the movie by the deadline, which kicked them out of the competition, but they were able to get a showing. Very cool. The movie had to be under 5 minutes (or something like that) and had to include Liberty Bank in the storyline. No part of the movie (script, shooting, nothing) could be done before the 48 hours clock began. Very hard to script, shoot and edit a movie in two days.

Hopefully, someday, I will be able to say: "I knew him when" after the cuz becomes a famous movie director.

Gaming and Green Blogs

It seems everyone’s cutting back on the blogging these days The 2 Dollar Bill, Snarling Marmot, Minutia, Dad’s on a Rant, Thinking Things, Corner of the Sky, Chatter, and even Life of Jason. What's going on? I must admit that school has affected FJ’s ability to put fingers to keys lately. Plenty of writing going on in the House of Jack, but not so much in the way of Erratic Rants. So many bloggers writing less is unsettling.

I am on vacation at home, which normally would lead to more blogging, but my wife and daughter are here too, so the girly and I have been gaming, mostly with Lego Star Wars for the Wii. We finally beat the section of Naboo that was befuddling us. Now it’s on to the pod races which we seem to repeat over and over with no clue as to what we are doing wrong.

Lego Indiana Jones comes out tomorrow. These Lego games tale, I tell you what. Great for kid and adult alike. My daughter and I game for 1-2 hours at a time, blinking our eyes at the clock in amazement. (Kids and Wives, if you are looking for a good gift for Dad, the new Lego Indiana Jones would be perfect if you have a gamer for a Dad or husband.)

I noticed that we have a new blogger for the local blog roll. Green Living in Greene County is a straight-up site for environmentalism in our lovely domicile. Good for us. This blogger needs all the help he can get.

The Force Was With Us On Memorial Day

I woke up at 6:30 am this morning to the smell of hot breath in my face, and the feel of cold fingers on my chest.

“Want to play Star Wars, Dad?”
“You betcha.”

I got right up and put that bad boy in the Wii. Sunday night I had the bright idea of rushing to Blockbuster and renting a Wii game and a movie for Memorial Day. I like PJ days, those rare times when we pretty much stay in our skivvies and hang out at home. Except for the lunch date with grandma and my dad, we did just that. Sophie and I rented:

• Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga
• Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
• The Water Horse (DVD)
  

We gamed in the morning before Mom got up, took a break for lunch, cleaned the house up good (hands and knees scrubbing good) and then gamed until 7 pm. When it was just the two of us, we played the Lego Star Wars game. It was good, great in fact. We had a blast fighting the evil Empire. Had I been thinking, I would have looked up the cheat codes early on so she could fight as Padme. We have them now. The Force was strong, our skills honed, and we had fun.



Mom joined us in the evening and we shifted gears to the Mario & Sonic game, where we competed in swimming, skeet, ping pong, track & field and other Olympic games. This game was for up to 4 players and those types of games are great for families. We finally quit when we noticed the daughter getting pretty crabby. She stamped that foot one too many times when she did not do as well as she expected. Our motto: Always quit while you’re having fun. It makes life run more smoothly. Never got to The Water Horse. I wasn't that thrilled with it anyway.

Local Blogger Talks of Comic Books & Faith

Local blogger, Chris Wilson, was featured in yesterday's Springfield News-Leader. It was all about comic books and faith. Check out the story here, but do it by next week or it goes to the archives and then you'll have to pay for the pleasure.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Grade: 80%
(Relax! No spoilers here)

The newest Indy Jones flick had some great scenes and clever references. Some of the more notable scenes:

• The motorcycle chase scene
• The car chase and skull exchange in the jungle
• The “rope” in the jungle
• The reference to the first film in the government warehouse
• Oh the ants, the ants. I loved the ants
• The Star Wars reference
  

All of this was great and fitting for the likes of Indiana Jones. My wife and daughter were ecstatic that Marion made another appearance. The premise, in my opinion, was on par, but the climactic ending overplayed its hand. Just a bit too much if you ask me. It was still fun.

A Review of 'The Green Book: The Everyday Guide to Saving the Planet One Simple Step at a Time'

A Guest Column
By Skinny Kitty

For Earth Day, I wanted to learn how I could be more green. I don’t even recycle, so it felt a bit overwhelming. But, my 7-year-old daughter has pointed out my responsibilities regarding our planet. So, I read “The Green Book”. The book has commentary from 14 different stars and it focuses on “simple steps” that allow you to make the biggest positive planetary impact with the least of amount of effort. Basically, it helps me to determine how I can be as green as possible and still be selfish. ☺ The book was a very easy read, it dumbed the issues down for me and I now have an action plan of how I am going to be a little more green.

Here is a list of items the book suggested that I already do! I learned that by my doing the things listed below that I am already doing green things. I will continue to do the following:

• Wash and reuse plastic bags.
• Buy compact fluorescent bulbs.
• Only run the dishwasher if it is a full load.
• Use left over plastic bags for trash bags.
• Turn off the tap water while brushing your teeth.
• Recycle dry cleaning hangers.
• Clean the dryer lint screen every time you use it (this also saves 5% on your electric bill).
• Use a commercial car wash instead of washing your own car.
• Garage sale unused items instead of throwing them away (make money).
• Reuse gift wrapping paper and bags.
• Read the newspaper online.
• Use a digital camera (only printing the photos you want saves paper and chemicals).
• Use GPS vs. a map.
• When making copies, always make them double-sided.
• Use a refillable pen.
• Purchase energy star appliances.
• Buy fresh fruit vs. canned (healthy too)
• File your tax refund electronically.

I felt so much better learning that I was doing some things that were saving the environment. I created the list below of things that I am going to begin to do to be more green. There were so many more other things I could do (a whole book full of ideas), but this is what I feel comfortable with doing to start out with little sacrifice whatsoever. It’s not easy being green, but I am going to try the following things. This is my selfish attempt at being more green.

• Recycle (after our garage sale, we will have space for the bins. We will be changing our trash company to do it. And we will be giving our money to a green-friendly business).
• Turn off the lights when I am not using them (save money).
• Recycle at work, too.
• Set our thermostat one degree higher for AC and one degree lower for heating (we should save $100 per year).
• Don’t flush every time you use the toilet…especially if someone is right there waiting to use it right after you.
• Recycle junk mail paper.
• Make one less trip to the dry cleaners (saves gas, plastic wrap, and hangers)
• Don’t buy CDs; download tunes.
• Don’t buy DVDs; rent them
• Buy Blue-Ray DVDs (more eco-friendly made)
• Take batteries and e-waste to a hazardous waste disposal site; don’t just throw them in the trash.
• Unplug my chargers after using (they waste a great deal of “stand-by” energy).
• Use both sides of paper.
• Avoid plastics with PVC.
• Use my ceramic mug at work and not disposable cups.
• Take one less paper napkin.
• Purchase recycled paper products.
• Avoid using rubber bands (I didn’t know they were made from petroleum).
• Use an eco-stapler (no metal staples).
• Teleconference/video conference vs. travel.
• Buy fair trade/rainforest alliance certified products (they practice sustainable agriculture).
• Buy organic as much as possible (no use of pesticides and it supports green business).
• Use beeswax or soy candles.
• Use recycled wrapping paper and reusable gift bags.
• Don’t ask for an ATM receipt.
• Request automatic deposits and withdrawals from the bank.

I encourage you to read the book to learn how you can become a little more green.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: I must confess that liberal though we may be, we have never bothered to recycle, as Skinny Kinny pointed out. Even conservative blogger, Larry Litle, recycles. He's done so for a long time. For some reason this liberal-slanted family hasn't bothered. Frankly, it's rather hypocritical of us not to do it. In my opinion, recycling is the moral, ethical and Christian thing to do, but we have not done it for the same reason most people don't do it: We are too lazy. We have talked about it, but never gotten around to changing our trash service so that we can be better global citizens. I am not willing to store gobs of junk in my house then make the monthly trip to the recycling center. The times, well, they are a changin'. I felt that needed to be told. Consider this our public apology to the Earth.)

Come Gamers, One & All

Dungeons & Dragons fans from around the world will all battle on the same during Worldwide D&D Game Day on June 7.

Dice-slingers of all ranks, novice and veteran, can play. Supplies will be on hand for newbies, and everyone who rolls the dice will take home: a d20, a character sheet, and an exclusive miniature.

Games, Comics, Etc (on South Campbell behind Andy’s) and Dragon's Lair (on West Battlefield by Hollywood Video) will be participating in the event. Other comic shops may be as well. Contact your local store for details.

TEETH: Lots of Bark But Little Bite

High school student, Dawn, is a virtuous girl, keeping her promise to remain abstinent until after marriage. She preaches her philosophy to young students, spreading her message of purity and chastity from sex, masturbation and unclean thoughts, going so far as to refrain from group outings lest she might yearn for one of the boys between her legs.

She breaks her own code when she goes swimming in a pond with a … boy. The unthinkable happens, of course, as he cannot contain himself. Despite her pleas for him to stop he does not. They both get a surprise when his digit of death, his penis of uncleanliness, meets up with the sharp teeth between her legs.

Oh yes, movie lovers, she has vagina dentate and she learns how to use her girly chompers to punish the filthy men of the world, ripping and tearing heads and shafts from here to next week.

Strangely enough, there was not enough camp to the movie. Imagine that. It took itself a bit too serious, played it a bit too straight, for my taste. It was funny in parts, but it didn’t camp it up enough for my expectations.

Still, I enjoyed seeing it and got a great laugh out of the whole thing. Like the boys in the movie, by the end I felt a bit … short.

Official movie site
IMDB site

Tidbits

Skinny Kitty took off this week to work on the house with me. Or is it me who is working with her? Probably the latter. We are cleaning the garage, preparing for a garage sale, organizing the house, bombing the office (it's a mess my friends) and spending quality time together.

The last one is the best part of the week. We have two granny's down, one dangerously ill and the other who just keeps falling. At the ninth decade, infections and falls are not good on the body. So we are checking in often. We've been sitting with the granny in the hospital. Blogging is brief.

I've also been having it out with my best buddy, Larry, over on his blog. It's been loads of fun talking about gay marriage and all the issues there. And neither he nor I have our itty bitty feelings hurt either.

Mission Accomplished Again!

I thought establishing timetables and then pulling out of Iraq in less than 100 years was nothing more than defeat in the eyes of Presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain? I thought all of this meant the Democrats were weak on terror, pansies, for wanting to leave? Here’s what he said in February according to CNN:

"And both Sen. Obama and Clinton want to set a date for withdrawal -- that means chaos, that means genocide, that means undoing all the success we've achieved and al Qaeda tells the world they defeated the United States of America.
"I won't let that happen."

Apparently, he’s changed his mind about setting that date for withdrawal. I guess the Democrats were not for genocide, chaos, and defeat all along. Go figure. Late last week McCain’s speech was a bit different:

“By January 2013, America has welcomed home most of the servicemen and women who have sacrificed terribly so that America might be secure in her freedom,” Mr. McCain said at the Greater Columbus Convention Center. “The Iraq war has been won. Iraq is a functioning democracy, although still suffering from the lingering effects of decades of tyranny and centuries of sectarian tension. Violence still occurs, but it is spasmodic and much reduced.”

He goes on to predict that with him in the White House that Bin Laden will be captured and the US will not see any major terrorist attacks.

I must say, though, I am glad that he is considering a date of victory less than 100 years. That gives some comfort that he may not be as much like Bush as he has appeared as of late.

The Drinkable Enema!

No Shit.

A loved one is in the hospital. She has a terrible bacterial infection in the lungs and is not well. Bowels are not working well and after 4 days … well you can imagine. Nothing has worked. I spent the day in the hospital with her to give the caretaker a break. The nurse finally came in with a steaming drink.

"It's a drinkable enema," he said wryly.

It was a 6 ounce hot Milk of Magnesia, prune juice and magnesium sulfate (or something) concoction. Gag a maggot. This stuff looked like … like … Judas Priest it looked nasty. She gagged it down and I left before the fun got rolling.

Drinkable enema. Who the hell thought that up?

Response to Friend's Poem

I don't know what has possessed me to put a poem on my blog. The world is full of bad poems written by hacks and wanna-be poets. Rhymed and metered bullshit that makes me want to hurl my cookies. I should write a poem about all the bad poems I've encountered over my years. What's the point? Mark Twain's already written about it, hasn't he?

A friend from overseas sent me a poem he's working on, to give my thoughts, to give advice. I reacted to it. Wrote a response. Emailed him this morning and thought I might as well post it here too.

Whatever.

When Asked to Edit a Poem Dedicated to Billy Collins
To Brian the Poet
By Fat Jack
May 12, 2008

Why would you send your poem to me?
I don’t understand poems full of intertwining ideas
Of poetic magnitude and academic interludes.

Truth is …
I don’t get your poem.
What with all the soapy suds, hard china and whatnot.
I’m too cowardly to look you in your electric eyes and tell you so.
I don’t even use words like “vestal” and “cloister”
Let alone make sense of them.
For the love of God,
I don’t ever think about unicorns and rainbows.
I sure as shootin’ don’t write about them.

You are ten times the poet I will ever be,
Spending years whittling your pen to write beautiful lines
Long lines
Metaphorical lines that run deep – hit hard –
Make men weep and shudder.

I’ve spent my time writing, yes,
Newspaper and magazine articles
Research papers
Short stories
And the occasional bad poem …
Oh, who cares?

I don’t write poetry like you do.
And you care what I think about your poem –
The one that I don’t understand?
You are a nice friend,
But I can’t help you.
I don’t feel big enough, old enough,
To give advice on poems that are smarter than I.
I like Charles Bukowski
Sandra Cisneros
Jack Prelutsky
Comic books
Dirty limericks.

I love my man Huckleberry,
The first novel I ever read cover-to-cover.
Does that redeem me?
And I’ve read Shakespeare …
But that doesn’t count because I have a hard time
With that too.

Publish your poem.
And maybe someday, if you find the time,
You can explain it to me
In simple terms
Break it down
Tie it to that chair and beat it with a dead horse.
Cause, brother, I can’t water ski.


© 2008, Fat Jack

Michigan Bans Domestic Partner Benefits.

From Inside Higher Ed:

"Michigan’s Supreme Court ruled Wednesday that the state’s ban on gay marriage makes it illegal for public universities and other entities of state government to provide domestic partner benefits to the partners of gay employees."

Divorce is sinful (except for adultery): No divorced persons get health insurance.

Would we agree with that? Of course not. God, on the other hand, demands we take a big, hot poop all over the homosexuals. Cause that sin is really bad and divorce is not so bad. Talk about activist judges.

And the conservatives argue that the Defense of Marriage is not about homosexuality. Oh, no, it's not discrimination. Nope. Can't be, we are Christians. It's crap.

Thanks to the Marmot for posting it first.

Comic Book Movies Can Be Great; Take IRON MAN for Instance

I may not be Iron Man, but the movie sure makes me want to pretend that I am. Oh to be a kid again. The flick sure makes me want to read the comics. I do have some Iron Man for the kiddos – Marvel Adventures line – and they seem to like it. It’s tame, but interesting. He’s not quite the jerk, nor the drinker, but the story is still pretty good.

I will not spoil the movie for you. I will tell you to stay and wait until the very end of all the stinking credits. There is a more … much more. Other than that, you will have to see for yourself. It's great. Yes, I said great.

Iron Man goes on my DVD Christmas/Birthday list. Robert Downey Jr. was perfect.

Time for Kids: Comics in Class

Time for Kids: Elementary school teachers use it to teach social studies. Created by Time Magazine, TFK is a glossy, color 8-page magazine covering current events that impact the lives of our children. I love using it when I teach and the kids seems to enjoy it. This week’s edition was of particular interest to me as it dealt with using comic books in the classroom. From TFK:

"In some places, they are part of the lesson. Schools around the country are using comic books to teach reading and other subjects. The Maryland State Department of Education has developed a comic book curriculum using classic Disney comics. After a successful test, it is being used in about 200 classrooms, and continues to expand. The state has introduced a new series of original comic books, Toon Books, in first and second grade. The series was created by Francoise Mouly, art editor of The New Yorker magazine, and her husband, Art Spiegelman, a prizewinning comics artist."

Not everyone thinks it’s a good idea. That’s okay. Those of us who are using them can see the impact on student engagement and learning. As for reading, it takes no time to figure out that the interest in reading skyrockets once comics are added to the curriculum.

Read the Time for Kids article here.

Don't forget that Saturday is Free Comic Book Day! It would be a great time to pick up some comics and see what this new trend in schools is all about.

To learn more about using comics and graphic novels in your classroom, click over to The Graphic Classroom.

Real Mathematics in the Classroom

Who would have thought that 2/3 x 2 would have caused such a raucous with fifth graders? When I taught a math lesson on Tuesday, we came across this problem. The children had several different strategies for solving the problem as well as different answers. The students were so engaged in the math, that they were debating why their answers were better or right over other students’ strategies and answers. So excited were my fifth graders that I had five who could not stay at their desks. I turned around and had them standing around the board begging, and I mean begging, to demonstrate their approach and solution on the interactive white board. Others were standing at their desks, hands raised and mouths running about math.

Math.

They were talking, almost shouting, about mathematics. In all my years of schooling I do not ever remember a single day when we students got so excited over a math problem. It just never happened. We sat quietly and listened to the instructor teach us one correct strategy and solution. We copied it, memorized the procedure, and practiced it over and over again. Not much excitement there.

I hated those days and so I take a different approach, which seems to be working. Not only do I have a higher percentage of students participating in the process at any single given time (as compared to when I was in school), but I had a classroom of kids busting to talk about math.

It was not all sugar and spice. They are fifth graders and thusly have a hard time handling such excitement and energy. It did, indeed, get out of hand. They just could not contain themselves. So I have some modeling to do and discussions to hold, so that the students can deal with the excitement of mathematics in the classroom. They need to learn how to be excited yet controlled simultaneously. I would have it no other way. Children who are too excited about sharing their math strategies and solutions: That is a great problem to have.


(NOTE: Some of the student misconceptions revolved around turning the whole number “2” into a fraction. Some thought it should be 2/2 and others thought it should be 2/1. Makes a big difference in the solution. Others were drawing pictures (area models) to represent the math problem. They too, a few of them, had trouble dealing with both a fraction and a whole number.)

Same Old Teaching, Different Day

I was sitting in class today and we were discussing how to help students read. The instructor passed out a scenario about a little boy in 4th grade who was reading on a 2nd grade reading level. He struggled with everything: decoding, comprehension, fluency and speed. She split us into 10 groups of 4-6 students per group. We were to come up with strategies and interventions to help the child.

There were some great strategies presented, ways to help the boy learn to read and comprehend. The students suggested tests and evaluations, specialized instruction to teach him how to increase vocabulary.

Only one group suggested that the boy read things he was interested in reading! One. Out of 56 students, only 5 came up with or accepted the idea that an appropriate intervention to better reading is to … enjoy what you read. This included my group.

Oh I made the suggestion, mind you, but they completely disregarded me and focused on all the possible interventions they could cram down the poor boys gullet. I was furious at my group and the rest of the students.

All this training and theory and at the first opportunity they go back to the tried and true method of direct instruction. If a kid does not get it, then drill them to death till they do with never a thought about enjoy being equated with motivation and thus learning. Who gives a crap if the kid is engaged in the process of reading? So long as I can increase his score on any given evaluation, then I did my job.

Well I say it is garbage. The techniques are great and must be used. But first, we must help the child to discover the beauty of reading. Once established, the strategies and interventions will make sense to the child. If a kid hates reading, and the struggling ones usually do, all the interventions in the world will not create a life-long reader.

Does a Bible on a Teacher’s Desk Violate Church-and-State?

A Science teacher, of all things, is in a brouhaha over religion. According to Dayton Daily News, John Freshwater had the 10 Commandments displayed in his room and a Bible on his desk. He has also taught Intelligent Design in the past.

The district finally asked Freshwater to remove the 10 Commandments and stow his Bible out of view of the studetns. He agreed to the 10, but drew a line in the sand at hiding his Bible, apparently preferring to let his light shine.

Dayton Daily News: "Would our government ask a follower of Islam to remove her burqa in order to teach school?" Freshwater said in his written statement. "Would we ask a science teacher to remove The Origin of Species from his desk merely because the origin of man has never been proven?”

What role does religion play in the 21st century public school?

First of all, had that been the Koran and Freshwater a member of Islam, you can bet your red apple that the religious right would have an all out fit, demanding the Koran be taken away. However, it is my humble opinion that Freshwater having a Bible on his desk poses no harm to anyone and the district needs to be calm down.

Claiming, however, that Intelligent Design is science is nonsense. It is religion disguised as curriculum. The Origin of Species may be a theory, but it is based on science, which is what science teachers are supposed to teach. Religion teachers preach. If he feels so strongly that his views cannot jive with science, then he should not be a science teacher. He can maybe become another kind of teacher, but you can't teach a core subject you do not believe in.

John McCain sings Streisand

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Baltimore Art Teacher Attacked by Student

This video has been making the news. This time an actual attack was caught on tape.

An interesting tidbit caught my ear. The teacher claims she told the student that she would “defend” herself and that the principal chastised her for using a “trigger” word. Not long ago, I posted a link to video of a student attacking a school bus driver. In that case, the student told the bus driver that she was not allowed to touch the student. Yet, the student kept using her body to push, move and eventually strike the bus driver.

It occurs to me that students have a perception that under no circumstances can a teacher lay hands on a student. And in both cases, the student uses that information to her advantage, ultimately attacking the adult. I wonder, what society do we live in where children are allowed to attack an adult and yet the adult is not allowed to defend him or herself? Teachers should have the right to defend themselves against danger and attack. It’s a basic human right. I think schools have this wrong. And I think a teacher should explain to a student the consequences of the student’s actions (defense of self) if the student chooses to attempt bodily harm.

I make the case that our schools and society have taken the “hands off” mentality a tad too far. The bus driver is in the right to restrain a student from exiting the bus. The teacher has a right to pop a high school student if said student attacks. It should be rare, nearly nonexistent, but teachers have rights too, and the schools should stand up for teacher’s right to not be harmed by students.

Geeky Goodness for Moviegoers

Our comic book/action flick/kung fu blood is bubbling ever so excitedly, what with the anticipation of this summer’s movie line-up, both on the silver screen and on DVD. I can’t wait.

April 18
The Forbidden Kingdom

May 2
Iron Man

May 9
Speed Racer

May 16
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

May 22
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

June 13
The Incredible Hulk (a new movie)

June 27
WALL-E

July 8
Batman: Gotham Knight (DVD)

July 17
The Dark Knight

Kill a Commie for Mommy

I don't know about you, but when I hear the national anthem it does not make me want to murder those with whom I disagree. Greene County's illustrious Sheriff Jack Merritt, on the other hand, feels quite differently.

While in Jefferson City to promote a law allowing psychologists to legally dispense prescriptions, Merritt was quoted by the News-Leader with a doosy. After hearing former American Idol contestant, Jason Yeager, sing the national anthem Merritt stated:

"The way I hear Jason sing the national anthem makes you want to go out and kill a communist. If that doesn't make you patriotic, nothing will."

Isn't he the guy who was embroiled in a scandal involving the fondling and photography of a dead woman's tits during an autopsy? A great guy, Sheriff Merritt. A real man's man and a dandy role model for children everywhere. What an idiot. And yet he was elected as Sheriff.

On his way back to Springfield, Merritt took a detour to Springfield's well known gay bar, Martha's Vineyard, where he promptly raped some homosexuals with his military bowie while singing the Star Spangled Banner.

When questioned, he simply laughed and said: "This ain't nothing. You should have seen me stomp the guts out of that fresh litter of puppies last summer. Nothing like the smell of new puppy-guts on a hot asphalt pavement."

(The last two paragraphs aren't true, but they might as well be.)

Someone else was Thinking and noticed this article first, thank goodness.

Some Fun Reading to Lighten the Mood

I was flipping through my copy of Previews ¬(the monthly guide to upcoming comics, books, movies, and toys) and I just had to share some titles with you. Not for children that’s for sure, these comics will make for a fun and adventurous summer.

I like super heroes well enough, but the comics I enjoy the most do not typically involve the heroes of the masked-and-caped variety. Unfortunately, most people think of Superman, Spiderman, Batman and Wonder Woman when they think of comics.

On that note, here is a small list of titles that I found particularly interesting for one reason or another. These titles will come out in June, so if you are interested, then you need to hop down to your local comic book store and order your copy. If you need help finding a good comic store, then drop me a line and I will help you out.


I Was Kidnapped by Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Written and illustrated by Megan Rose Gedris
Platinum Studios

The lesbian pirates set off for the Phlebon-6 Intergalactic Bank, hoping to fill the ship’s brig with big stacks of cash. But mild-mannered bank employee Andrew Manly isn’t going to take this lying down! If only he could find a phone booth to change in.

For those who enjoy: Mars Attacks and Kissing Jessica Stein.


The Metamorphosis
Originally written by Franz Kafka
Adapted by Peter Kuper
Random House

As Gregor Samsa awakes one morning from uneasy dreams, he finds himself transformed into a gigantic insect. This graphic treatment draws out the subtle psychological and emotional shifts of the story, while capturing Kafka’s often-unrecognizable humor.


Stephen Colbert’s Tek Jansen
Written by John Layman, Tom Peyer & Jim Massey
Illustrated by Scott Chantler & Robbie Rodriguez
Omni Press
Coming in June

Solar plexus! Bursting out from the hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report, this sci-fi hero must stand against the enemies of freedome no matter what dark plenty they crawl from. Galaxy-her-super-awesome-spectacular-ultra-spy Tek Janson takes it back to school. When a misunderstanding ends with a demotion for Tek, the spaceman is busted down and forced to return to the academy that shaped ihim into the man he is today.

For those who enjoy: Young Frankenstein, Space Balls and The Tick.


Caliber
Written by Sam Sarkar
Illustrated by Garrie Gastonny
Radical Books
Coming in May

The Arthurian legend is retold in the American Old West, with all of its great symbolism, magic and spirit of adventure. The Knights of the Round Table are all gunslingers bound by a code of honor to protect the weak and defend the innocent until they are undone from within by their own moral corruption. In this tale, Caliber itself is a tattooed six-gun, given to Arthur by the Indians and imbued with supernatural power. The secret of the gun is that it is never loaded with bullets, but when a man with Justice on his side is holding it, it can fire. When it does, it fires Thunder itself and never misses.

Run Hillary Run

I simply do not understand the rush to determine a democratic presidential nominee. Sure, John McCain is on the trail, raising money and talking about his platform, but the dems could be doing the same, rather than sniping. It seems they are getting more press because of the race than McCain.

We don’t stop March Madness after half time even when the game is a blow out. We don’t even stop that godforsaken “sport” of nonsensical ice skating when a skater falls and we know its over. Judas Priest! They run those worthless races for weeks. I am an Obama supporter, but I do not think that we should prematurely end the race. Clinton has a right to run until the end, and I think we should support her in doing so.

Otherwise we run the risk of disenfranchising her supporters and we don’t need or want to do that. They are disenfranchised enough with all that “sniper fire” brouhaha that came about. There is a reason we have a convention. Leave the poor woman alone and let her run her campaign, despite the fact that I really think she has no chance. You never know.

Leave it to the Dems to run a perfect opportunity into the ground.

Teen Faces Charges for Fighting Bus Driver on Bus

I missed this story a month ago, but tonight, KPHO had a story that the girl in this video is being charged for assaulting a bus driver. Could not embed the video, but you can see it here. Thank goodness. For some reason, I am choosing to go into debt just for the privilege of working with out-of-control, over-indulged children for the fancy price of $30K a year.

Notice how the teen uses a “no-touch” policy against the bus driver and accuses the driver of punching her. Funny how perception works. Seems to me the child is the one who is standing at the front of the bus, trying to get off, and keeps trying to bully her way past the driver.

Personally, I think the teen should be charged.

A Mattress for a King

Fat Jack needs a new mattress. The one we have, a tradition inner-spring mattress, is just not getting it. I tend to sleep in a hole and every time I move, the wife moves. We are really considering a different type of mattress. Something besides the same old tradition spring board. We would love to hear from our beloved and intelligent readers about the mattresses you prefer or recommend. We are interested in:

• ComfortAire
  
• Sleep Number
• Tempur-Pedic
  

We have decided to move to a King. That way the poor skinny kitty has more room as Jack tends to spread out, or so I am told. Our lovely wifey-poo is all but beside herself with glee. She cannot wait to be "Sleeping Beauty". I found it curious that Consumer Reports does not rate mattresses. I read somewhere that the reason is because the evaluators cannot agree. So there must really be a lot of personal taste in a mattress.

Third Graders Plot Revenge Against Teacher

From First Coast News and the Today Show:

The children hatched a careful plan, each with a specific job. Their tools included handcuffs, tape, a kitchen knife and a paperweight. According to the Today Show, the goal was to distract her, tie her up, then hurt her. Why all of the anger and hubbub? The Today Show reported that the catalyst came when the teacher disciplined one of the nine for standing on his or her chair.

The plot involved nine children in all. Three of which have been identified as the ringleaders.

All nine were suspended
The three leaders face charges in juvee

It’s hard to say what is really going on here without knowing the children, the families, and the school culture. Did the children craft a plan after one isolated incident, or is there a history? Do the children have problems with violence? How is it that nine children can be involved in such an incident? That is a large number of children to be that angry. There must be more to the story.

The More He Treats Me Like Sh!&, The More I Love Him

If you regularly follow the tales of Jack, then you will recall that we put a stop to a man beating up his girlfriend/wife near the side of the road. The police were called. Charges filed. Today was the court date. I had to leave my practicum with the fifth graders to testify, which I was glad to do, if it meant stopping the madness.

Low and behold beloved readers, the two lovebirds walked into court hand-in-hand. This time she had no bruises from previous beatings. Normally, the prosecutor would do nothing because the female was uncooperative, but this time there was a witness and so they went ahead without her cooperation. Good for them, says I.

The prosecutor was prepared to go to trail. The man finally plead guilty to what I assume is a lesser charge. Actually, he had several charges and is wanted in other states. That’s a head scratcher. I sat outside the courtroom and read. I didn’t really want to hear the horrible ins and outs of anyone’s lives. I get that enough working with school children. Ultimately, I didn’t have to testify after all.

In the end, this scrawny little shit of a man will continue to beat up on his baby’s momma. (I don’t know if they have kids, but I like the term.) It confounds my heart and head, but I know that it happens everyday. I just accept that fact that I cannot understand why people stay in abusive relationships. (As a side note, boys can be the victims of domestic abuse too.)

I worked with a lady once. She was really a lot of fun to work with. She was involved in a bad relationship. He didn’t beat her, but he cheated on her a lot and I suspect there were a lot of head games on both parts. We sat outside one day, taking a break, and she told me as she sucked down her grit, that she loved him.

“Why do you stay with someone like that,” I asked.
“I don’t know, Jack. I’ve always been like that. The more they treat me like shit, the more I love them.”

Well, screw me running. What do you say to that? That-there needs some serious counseling to fix, and it may never be fixed. There is something you can do, if you or someone you love is being abused.

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)