Monday, December 22, 2008


That's the goal this holiday season and thus far it is working. At least we are finding more success than in years past. We are a big fella, but you probably gathered that from the title of the blog. Our doc made a great suggestion: Don't eat at parties.

I laughed when I first heard this because if not eating were a real possibility I would not have so much in common with Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin. The truth of the doctor's remarks were not so bleak or simple, but they were not complicated either.

She suggested I eat a full, satisfying meal before I go to any holiday parties, especially but not limited to, those endless troughs of deep fried butter-laced, sugar-rolled, early-death concoctions. I'm looking at you Ooey, Gooey Butter Cake recipe so famous during Christmas. This stuff is baked heroine. So anyway, when I got to the party I do not partake of a single morsel of food. Nothing, nit, nadda, no way, no how, no thank you. If I start I will not stop.

It is doable. Not without a good deal of work and mind-prep ahead of time, but it is doable. So far I have used this technique at three parties, and I am using it for one more. Typically, I sit as far away from the kitchen or the food as possible and I refuse to go into those areas. Skinny Kitty is kind enough to refill my water or tea (I drink my plain, thank you. The only thing I don't want sugar added.) If folks want to talk to me, they have to come where I am.

Tomorrow's party is the coup de grace of difficult holiday parties as it involves one family member who equates the food with love. It may be a small party, but we will be knee deep in food: lard, sugar, salt, and butter. I have a plan and I am prepped for battle.

It ain't easy being hungry.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

gooee butter cake is worse than baked heroin, even if it was baked by a heroine.

I had to go to Race Brothers for some fence parts and I weighed on an electronic cattle scale.

246, not wonder the only pants that fit me have elastic waists.

After Xmas, this year, for srue, after Xmas I am going to lose weight.

It's my new year's resolution.