Thursday, June 25, 2009


A nearly presidential-term spent in college (you can freely interpret that as unemployed) has wreaked havoc on our family finances to the point that we are running very low on the greenbacks. So our family vacation has consisted of staying home, eating in and watching movies on Netflix.

We did strike out today, during the heat of the day, and caught a double feature at the Hollywood downtown. Yesterday we watched KIT KITTREDGE: AN AMERICAN GIRL. Today we enjoyed LAND OF THE LOST and TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN.

I was quite surprised at KIT. It was about a girl but wasn’t really a girl movie. It was a depression-era story about a family that split up so they could survive. The father left town for work while the mother and daughter took on boarders. The townships hatred of hobos hit its zenith when there was a crime spree. Fortunately, the clever Kit and her friends solved the mystery and also changed people’s minds about those who are less fortunate. It was great. No wonder it was certified fresh from Rotten Maters.

Well, there were no real surprises here. It was sporadically humorous and altogether ridiculous. That’s okay. It was supposed to be stupid, but we just were not that into it.

I saved this one for the end because I didn’t want it to stink up the rest of the page. Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but it was close. TRANSFORMERS 2 was fun for a summer movie, but the story was convoluted and once again the movie makers spent more time on the action and the CGI than they did the story. You’d think they would get that message by now. I’ll give you a quick run-down of the problems:

Numerous Resurrections
Who dies and is later resurrected? Megatron. Optimus Prime. The Matrix (the key). Optimus Prime again. You can only kill off characters or items and bring them back again so many times before everyone but the entirely idiotic and superficial will stay with you. Megatron was killed in movie numero uno. The Decepticons bring him back alive 40,000 fathoms beneath the ocean. Megatron then kills Optimus Prime; kills him dead. The military hauls him around and then our protagonist resurrects him using the Matrix (a key which also was destroyed but somehow magically resurrected in the nick of time). The Fallen then just walks up and steals the Matrix out of Optimus’ chest. Just like that. Doo dee doo. Optimus falls again and suffers greatly only to be resurrected through sacrifice by one of the ancient ones. Good grief. Is anyone actually falling for all that nonsense? Have the writers completely lost their minds? Does anyone have any idea what decent writing looks like?

Too Much of the Same
For the love of all that is holy and good, can we not make multiple fight scenes different? I love fighting and battles, but even I grew a bit weary at all the seemingly identical war scenes. It got boring.

The Transformers Don’t Look Like Vehicles
I’ve never liked the way the Transformers look when they are in robot form. Most barely resemble the vehicles they transform into. They also transform too quickly and don’t give us time to see the movement. That’s one of the coolest parts of the Transformers.

Where Were The Girl Transformers?
My daughter asked me why there weren’t any girl transformers? That because the creators were thinking only of boys when they made this flick. Apparently, they don’t think boys give a pittly dang about good story. So long as there is a pretty girl and lots of fighting we are happy. I’m here to tell you that’s not enough. There is no sense in alienating 50 percent of the population.

There were girl transformers. They showed up as motorcycles in the beginning, but that’s it. I suppose making girls would be too hard to believe?

An Transformers From Long Ago Was a Stealth Bomber?
Am I to believe that one of the oldest living transformers on the Earth, one that was here long ago is a stealth bomber. Wouldn’t he be a Model A or a prop plane at least? A stealth? No kidding? Um, do they not see a problem with that? He’s supposed to be very old. Stealth bombers are not that old. Duh.

Tomorrow, the wife and I are staying home and having a date day. The daughter is spending the day with her grandmother as part of her month-long birthday celebration. We shall watch SECRETS OF THE HEART and FANBOYS.

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